


I Fear No Fate, Nor World

by Hekate1308



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had come to realize only a miracle would allow Dean to acknowledge his feelings for Cas. That miracle arrived, fittingly enough, through a closet. AU, Destiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Fear No Fate, Nor World

They were alive. They had survived and fought the darkness, had beaten the odds, and they were still alive.

He wasn't drinking demon blood, and the Mark was no longer on Dean's arm.

They were alive, and as fine as they were ever going to be.

Everything was in order; the world wasn't in danger for once, Hannah was leading Heaven, and even Crowley was back on his throne, after his mother had been dealt with.

Sam had yet to ask why Dean had helped the King of Hell although they had been busy fighting against the Darkness. Somehow, when his brother had been a demon, a strange camaraderie had grown between them that Sam couldn't understand.

He was content that at least Crowley didn't seem intent on killing them anymore. And if Dean sometimes got strange phone calls during which the King of Hell had to vent about his incompetent employees, so be it. Things were still more peaceful than they'd been in years.

And then, of course, there was Cas.

Cas, who'd been by their side as they had fought the Darkness, barely going to Heaven anymore; Cas, who'd helped them perform the last spell and then promptly vanished, leaving Dean in a state of acute depression; Cas, who had shown up at the bunker's doorstep three days later, shivering and exhausted and _human_.

He hadn't spoken of reasons. He had simply said that he wanted it, that it was his choice, and Sam and Dean had accepted this.

Or rather, Sam had. Dean had grilled him for another hour and that started to make him dinner, still grumbling to himself.

Sam didn't need Cas to tell him.

He already knew his reasons.

He knew that Cas was sitting in the kitchen, watching every last one of them make him a burger at this exact moment.

And he waited.

Waited for something to happen, for the longing glances and fervent prayers to finally, finally be justified, for his brother to end up happy for once.

He should have known that it wouldn't be that easy.

Dean, despite averting the Apocalypse and saving the world a handful of times after that, was still afraid to admit to certain truths.

One of them was that he was into guys as well as women, and the second was that he was in love with Cas.

Sam watched as his brother, instead of growing closer to Cas and showing him the joys of being human, as he hadn't been able to do the first time around, drew back, spent more and more time in his room when they weren't hunting, left it to him to explain to Cas how to prepare certain meals or which internet sites he could venture on without getting a virus.

It should have been Dean to do these things; it was clear that Cas had hoped he would, his eyes following him whenever he left the room, his questions usually addressed to Dean when he was with them.

But sadly, once more, Dean had decided to deal with a problem (and a problem only he really saw as one) by ignoring it.

Sam knew the truth, knew that his brother hated himself for every fond smile, every light touch he bestowed on Cas when his control slipped.

Because his facade was by no means perfect.

Sometimes, Dean would wake up, wander in the kitchen and suddenly he was happy that he was finally in the bunker with his family, and for a day, two days, a week, everything was fine and he watched horrible movies with Cas because "It's not the same if you haven't watched them, Cas, I don't care that you know how it ends" and preparing food he thought the former angel would like.

On such days, Cas smiled brightly and shuffled closer to Dean and Sam saw all the reasons he'd ever needed to fall in his eyes, open for all to read.

All except for Dean, who would inevitably withdraw and barely talk to him during the next few days, until the cycle began again.

Cas was confused. Sam could understand him; his brother was not an easy man to love; and Cas had only been human for a short time before. He couldn't expect him to grasp the complex turmoil of emotions in Dean.

He could only see that Dean didn't want to talk or even be in the same room with him most days, and Sam couldn't imagine what it must feel like.

The person you have up everything for barely sparing you a glance.

And yet Cas remained cheerful, lighting up every time Dean gave him his attention.

Sam was tired of it.

He didn't know what to do, but something had to be done. He refused to let Dean run away from happiness, deny himself everything he wanted again.

He didn't realize how desperate he was until he caught himself contemplating calling Crowley from Dean's phone so he would pick up and asking him for help.

It was rather disheartening to realize that the one person who knew them best aside from Cas was the King of Hell.

He would have to talk to his brother. But how? Dean would shut down any attempt of discussing his and Cas' relationship. He would insist that they were family, that he wasn't "like that". And then he would storm off and find the nearest bar, and Sam would spend the evening with a dejected ex-angel.

Two months later, Sam was contemplating the old approved and utterly cliché method of locking them into a closet and refusing to let them out until they had talked, but knowing Dean he would probably starve before he allowed those words to pass his lips, or even think about saying them.

And yet help arrived through a closet.

Literally.

They were on a hunt in Arizona; the motel they stayed didn't have any free rooms with three beds, so Sam stayed on his own while Dean and Cas shared a two bed room (despite his hopes that they might take another option) and he was sitting on Dean's bed, working on his laptop, Dean and Cas sitting at the table, doing research or rather stealing glances at each other, when the closet door flung open and two men who looked exactly like Dean and Cas fell into the room.

**One day earlier**

Around the town of Sedona, Arizona, strange things had started to happen about three months ago.

The definition of "strange" ranging from someone losing their keys every month on the exact day six times in a row (and detail Sam learned when he was looking through a local newspaper; apparently so little happened there that this was worth a notice) to someone leaving their home and disappearing from the face of the earth.

The incidents multiplied until Sam finally put the pieces together, and when he presented the case to Dean and Cas during breakfast, his brother shrugged and meant that, since things had been really quiet, they might as well check it out.

Cas agreed, and they got ready to head out.

Sam saw Cas hesitate in front of the Impala, knew he wanted to sit next to Dean but didn't want to presume anything because of Dean's mercurial temper when it came to him these days, and he quickly said, "Cas, do you mind taking the front seat? I'd like to try and get a few more hours".

"You just need your beauty sleep, Rapunzel" Dean commented but was apparently happy enough with the suggestion, and Sam made himself comfortable on the backseat, sure he'd done the right thing.

Dean looked relaxed and comfortable, not in one of his moods, and Cas was practically bouncing with happiness as he sat down.

How these two could simply not take the hint already was beyond Sam.

He couldn't exactly give them space, but he could doze off for a bit and let them talk.

Now and then, he drifted back into consciousness and heard pieces of their conversation.

"Nah, Slaughterhouse-Five is his best, I'm not that much into Jailbird..."

(Sam had always known his brother liked to read, way more than he let on).

"But if everyone just took better care of the environment, bees wouldn't be dying. We need them; why can't people see?"

(Cas had from the onset shown a strange fascination in bees and animals in general, and Dean had made it his mission to find every nature documentary there was and procure it for him, although he never admitted as much; the DVD just happened to lie around in the bunker all of a sudden, while his brother was sitting nearby, looking innocent).

"Doctor Sexy is compelling".

"I don't see your point. The medical procedures are..."

It went on like this until Dean shook Sam away roughly, and he would have bitten his head off if his brother hadn't been so happy and cheery, and Cas in a similar state.

Seriously, they just had to talk to be this happy? If everything else failed, he would definitely lock them in the closet.

"Rise and shine Sammy, we got work to do!"

"Yeah, yeah" he grumbled, getting up and stretching.

Dean had parked in front of a motel; Sam wondered if he picked nicer ones on purpose since Cas had joined them or whether it was an unconscious decision, prompted by his suppressed feelings. It didn't make much difference – they could easily afford it since Dean was a master at credit card fraud and hustling, and if he was honest with himself, Sam was as well.

The receptionist informed them that they were out of rooms with three beds, so Dean decided that they would take a room with two singles and another simple one with one bed, and there wasn't even a question who would take what.

Dean might avoid Cas in the bunker when he felt that he was paying him too much attention, but there was no way he was leaving him out of his sight when they were outside.

Sam had always assumed that Dean's overprotective behaviour was bad when it came to him; he was starting to reconsider.

No wonder Cas was confused. Dean was constantly giving him the hot and cold treatment, and it would have to stop soon. Sam wasn't going to let him walk away from this.

Not when there was finally someone who appreciated his brother's worth.

For now, they were investigating one mysterious disappearance, a man rising up in the air and levitating for a few minutes before landing again (and being unaware that he'd spent some time on the ceiling) and all dogs in the neighbourhood beginning to bark at midnight and falling silent an hour later, every attempt to make them stop by their owners useless in the meantime.

They had investigated less, and certainly a missing person was worth checking into, but things just seemed... strange.

"A witch?" Sam suggested.

"Then, if she's going after humans, why make the dogs bark? That's more practical joke than evil deed".

"Maybe there's a team? You've met witches who worked together before" Cas supplied, "Maybe one of them simply wants to have fun, and the other..."

"Could be..." Dean replied, then shook his head. "Just please don't let it be witches".

Cas smiled at him indulgently. Sam just sighed.

They worked their way through other possibilities ("Tulpa?" "The scenes are too spread out". "Ghost?" "Never heard of any ghost doing stuff like that". "Demon?" "Don't think so" Dean said with a little more force than strictly necessary).

They were getting nowhere, so they decided to split up and talk to the witnesses.

Naturally, Dean and Cas took the Impala, and Sam was left on the sidewalk next to the motel, relieved that at least Dean was talking to his friend.

Maybe he'd finally admitted to himself what he wanted and they could let go of this whole charade and be together as they were both desperate to.

Then again, knowing Dean, he would soon pull a 180 and pretend that Cas was invisible or just a passing acquaintance.

Sam shrugged and began to make his way to the missing woman's husband.

"Agents Stanley and Simmons" Dean introduced them, glancing at Cas to make sure he held his badge up right, but the former angel had learned well since he'd become human and behaved exactly as a FBI agent should.

It was strange to see him back in his suit, the tie looking proper because Dean had taken the time to do it, since he'd grown used to Cas wearing the usual hunter getup of jeans, t-shirts and plaid; it reminded him of everything that had passed, and he didn't know if it was a good feeling or not.

Usually, when it came over him, he avoided Cas for a while. It made it easier for both of them; he hardly thought Cas would have liked his other solution to the problem, which meant staying glued to his side no matter what.

In a totally platonic way of course; Dean wasn't like that. And Cas wasn't either. He'd slept with that Reaper, after all, and when he'd lost his memory he'd married a girl.

So, yeah. Totally platonic. But he still wanted to be near the fallen angel as much as possible, so it was probably a good idea to reduce the time they spent together before it got weird.

The witness, the wife of the man who'd decided to go all Peter Pan on the ceiling and then forgotten about it, was confused that they wanted to speak to her, but a encouraging smile from Cas soon brought her around.

"It was just – Harold was telling me about his work, when he suddenly gets this weird expression on his face and just – goes up to the ceiling. I tried calling to him, but he couldn't answer – it was like he was in a trance or something... Then he went down again, shook his head and – " she hesitated for a moment, then continued "asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner. I told him what he'd done; he thought I was making fun of him, then he grew concerned, and if our neighbour hadn't backed me up, who'd seen him go up through the window, hadn't backed me up... That's how the police got involved, but they pretty much told us there was nothing they could do. It was – suggested that we shouldn't mention it anymore".

It was a weird story, but unfortunately didn't give them much. There was something though –

"Mrs. Eldritch, has your husband changed in any way since the incident?"

She hesitated.

"It's important" Cas added softly, and she nodded.

"As a matter of fact – he was a workaholic before".

"And he isn't anymore?" Dean asked, surprised.

"He still likes to work, but – he barely paid attention to me anymore. All he'd ever talk about was work. Now it's – like it was when we first got married". She blushed and Dean decided he could do without the details.

They said their goodbyes and began driving to the house of the man who'd gone missing.

"So what, guy takes a dive to the ceiling and suddenly is the perfect husband?"

"Again" Cas added and he frowned at him.

"What do you mean?"

"He's the perfect husband _again_ " Cas explained. "You heard what she said. He used to make her very happy, then he started working more and more and now – "

"Flying marriage counselling" Dean mused. "Never thought I'd see the day. But where does that leave us?"

"If it's a witch, she's not that bad – " Cas began, but Dean shook his head.

"And the missing guy?"

Cas shrugged helplessly and looked away, and it occurred to Dean that he might be feeling self-conscious because he couldn't tell them what was going on.

Becoming human had cost Cas more than his powers. His angelic knowledge had become muddled, faded, his mind trying to protect itself, as Sam had put it, and Dean just wanted to comfort him –

And that was another reason he'd decided to get out of Cas' way when they were in the bunker. He hardly supposed a man who had been able to smite anyone whenever he wanted would care for the comfort Dean could give him, small as it was.

He didn't really know how to comfort someone, now that he thought about it. The only thing he knew was to soldier on. So yeah, keeping a distance was probably for the best.

Sam would probably have made Cas talk about it, but he figured he could let the guy sort things out on his own, and started talking about the case.

"So, George Tabbens. He didn't show up for work and his colleagues reported him missing after he hadn't shown up for a week. I guess it's safe to say he wasn't the most popular guy".

"It's strange his wife didn't say anything" Cas said quietly, wondering if Dean hadn't noticed that for a moment, he'd been upset that he couldn't recall everything anymore as he'd done when he was an angel, or if he simply didn't care.

Sam said he cared, Sam said that the days on end when Dean would barely glance at him when they met in one of the countless corridors of the bunker were just Dean being stupid. Cas wasn't sure.

When he'd been an angel, Dean had talked to him when he was sad.

Maybe it was because he was useless now. Sam insisted that he wasn't, but he knew that he could do no more than they, rather less since he hadn't had their training.

Still, seeing Dean draw back hurt. Hurt because Cas knew, though he had never admitted as such, not even to himself, why he had finally chosen to become human.

It didn't matter. It would never come to pass.

Dean's good mood had been infectious earlier, but after they had gone through the Eldritch's house it had evaporated, and he ignored Cas on the way back.

He looked down at his human, mortal hands who could neither heal nor smite anymore and was silent.

Sam was waiting for them in their room, his laptop open, and registered the distance between them with a frown.

"Hey guys".

"So we got zilch" Dean said. "A guy floated around and came back down the perfect husband. No EMF, no hexbags, no sulphur".

"I didn't find anything either. In fact, George Tabbens might just have left. His wife is certainly not concerned about him, only kept complaining about how useless he was" Sam replied, remembering the careless way she had talked about her husband.

He noticed Cas flinch slightly at the word "useless" and felt guilty. He should pay more attention to his friend, since Dean, who had let himself fall down on a chair, clearly wasn't going to.

They were conducting research, trying to put the pieces together when it happened.

One moment, everything was normal.

The next moment, the closet door flew open and two people fell out.

They were on their feet in a moment, Sam and Dean having their guns out, Dean having pushed Cas behind him.

They let them sink when they registered who had just barged into their room.

"What the – Cas? Cas, are you alright?"

As the other man confirmed it, immediately throwing the question back at his companion, the hunters realized that they were indeed staring at another Dean Winchester and Castiel.

"What is going on?" Dean demanded, training his gun again on the Dean-Winchester-and-Castiel lookalikes that had just burst through the closet.

The moment they saw the pun, they tried to move back but found there was nothing but the closet; they then proceeded to try and each get before the other, but neither of them would have it, resulting in a strange choreographed struggle in which they seemed to forget all about the men threatening them.

"Dean" Sam said, "put your gun down".

"Do you think – "

"Do _you_ think they are a danger?"

Dean looked at the once more; they were now standing next to one another, their eyes focused on the gun.

Dean sighed and let his arm dropped reluctantly. They relaxed slightly.

Sam studied their visitors as Cas shuffled closer so that he stood next to the Dean; they presented the perfect mirror image of the pair –

No, not perfect, he realized. Other Dean (for lack of a better word) was wearing dress pants, a shirt and tie, for example, and they were nicer than anything Dean had ever bought for himself. Other Cas wore the getup they'd first met him in – down to the crooked tie.

They were obviously terrified and confused – and unarmed.

Yet other Dean cleared his throat and spoke.

"I do appreciate that you ceased to point your weapon at us, but would you be so kind to inform us what exactly happened?"

"You first" Dean grunted and Sam rolled his eyes, stepping forward.

"You fell out of our closet" he supplied, and other Dean and Cas turned around, realizing it was the truth.

Other Dean looked at Sam, rubbing his neck with his right hand.

"We were going to get lunch".

"And then suddenly you were here?"

They nodded.

"Sammy, stop a moment" Dean interrupted, "We don't even know if they're human yet".

"Of course we're human" other Cas spoke for the first time, "What else would we be?"

The innocence of the question reminded Sam of a time when their friend had still believed that the angels were trying to stop the Apocalypse, when he was certain in his mission.

Dean snorted.

"Take your pick – shapeshifters, ghouls, sirens..."

"What!?" other Dean exclaimed. "What are you talking about – "

At the same time, other Cas had begun to ask a million questions, and Sam was about to scream when Cas announced, "Everybody be quiet, please".

It was said quietly enough that the two strange apparitions really did fall silent, until other Dean eyed their Cas and decided, "That's really weird".

"You're telling me, man" Dean huffed and just like that, the atmosphere in the room relaxed. At least Dean wasn't going to shoot them until they knew what was going on.

"Sit down" Sam offered, and instead of taking the chairs Dean and Cas had previously occupied, they decided to sit on one of the beds. Probably because they didn't want anything between them; God knew when Dean and Cas found themselves in a strange situation they stuck together.

For a moment silence reigned as they studied one another.

They had to make sure they were human.

Sam got the salt and holy water; the two were rather apprehensive about the silver knife, but once he explained to them what he was doing, they complied, still almost pressed against each other.

Dean and Cas watched them, the ex-angel's eyes blazing, and it was clear that, no matter that he didn't have his powers anymore, he was ready to kill if they tried to hurt his friends in any way.

Dean, by this time, had mostly grown confused, especially since nothing produced results.

They were human, and they were Dean and Castiel.

Being now in immediate proximity, Sam could bestow on them an even closer look; and he soon found even more differences between them and the two who were standing behind him.

For one, other Dean was keeping a _spectacle case_ in the pocket of his shirt, and his brother would never have agreed to wear glasses – although, since they looked about the same age, Sam made a mental note to ask Dean about his eyes later. They couldn't risk going on hunts with his sight less than stellar.

Other Cas looked very much like theirs, but as with other Dean, there was something about the way he sat; they were confused, yes, alarmed, of course, but there was nothing of the exhaustion Dean carried around with him, or the weariness Cas had shown in the last few weeks as Dean's behaviour began to wear him down.

They also sat inclined towards one another; somehow, they had managed to have even less personal space between them than his brother and his angel –

And then it struck Sam as he was cutting other Dean as gently as he could –

He could only hope that no one had noticed his eyes widening or the sharp intake of breath; but somehow –

Other Dean wore a wedding band on his hand.

And other Cas did as well.

And they _matched_.

Now it made sense that they wanted to sit together instead of apart at the table; now it made sense that they'd defended one another without a thought of their own safety.

And it made perfect sense that they would be married, if this were indeed Dean and Cas, only living a different life –

And they were, apparently. They were human and had fallen into their motel room; and they were the same age as his brother or best friend, so they couldn't have time travelled. They must come from a parallel universe.

Well, they had seen weirder.

But he didn't want to imagine Dean's reaction when he found out they were married. He wasn't afraid that he'd hurt them; but he was afraid that, in his determination that he was straight and could never be "like that" and that he and Cas were friends, best friends but nothing more, he would be horrified, and Cas would see and think there was no hope.

And there was, there was every reason to think they would have got together ages ago if Dean could get a grip, and now the proof was staring them right in the face.

First he'd been worried about Dean's reaction; now he feared Cas'. What would his friend do when he saw what he wanted the most right in front of him, believing that he could never have it?

It was a mess.

"Okay" Dean eventually said, "So we got us from another universe..." he trailed off and shot his brother a look. "Guess you got lucky, Sammy".

"Sam was supposed to have lunch with us today" other Cas supplied. "He couldn't because the Adler case is currently in a very delicate stage".

"So I take it you're not hunters" Dean observed. Other Dean frowned.

"I don't think the killing of animals particularly entertaining".

"No, I meant hunters of the supernatural. Demons, ghosts, all things that go bump in the night?".

Their wide-eyed stare was answer enough.

"So I take it there is no supernatural in your world?" Sam asked in an attempt to make it easier for them, which Dean certainly wouldn't.

"No" other Dean replied, "definitely not". He shook his head. "Still can't believe this is real".

"So where are we?" other Cas asked excitedly. "Are we in a parallel universe? You hunt supernatural creatures? Which have you encountered so far? Are you – "

"Calm down" other Dean said, chuckling. "I know you're excited – "

"Dean, the supernatural exists in this world!"

"I know, I know" he replied, and somehow they had managed to create their own little world. They didn't even look scared anymore.

It was an example of what could be, if Dean would only let it happen, and Sam felt his throat constrict.

He glanced at Cas, but he only looked at them with a look of interest and slight suspicion. He hadn't noticed yet, he hadn't seen the rings.

Neither had Dean. Maybe on some level he had registered it, but he didn't even contemplate the possibility because for him it wasn't a possibility at all, couldn't be a possibility, and Sam wanted to scream as he waited for the catastrophe that was sure to happen.

"Okay, first things first" Dean decided pulled out his phone.

Sam was confused until the person he was calling picked up and Dean inquired, "Did you by any chance play around with doors to different planes again? We got a different universe situation down here".

A pause. "You're sure it's not a demon thing? One of your guys breaking ranks, maybe?"

Oh. Sam looked at Cas and found the former angel looking away with something like jealousy in his eyes.

He would have to ask Dean about his relationship with Crowley after all.

"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist. Have a Craig or whatever".

Dean hung up.

"Crowley's got nothing to do with it" he informed Sam and Cas as he sat down on the bed across from their visitors. He then introduced them. "I'm Dean Winchester. This is my brother Sam. And this is Castiel".

When he noticed their expectant looks, he added, "Just Castiel".

Other Dean laughed. "That sounds good". He shoved other Cas good-naturedly with his elbow. "I should introduce you like that. Just Castiel".

He turned to Dean. "Just Castiel, Dean. Winchester".

And Dean still didn't understand.

"Dean Winchester and Castiel..." he prompted, apparently adamant to know what Cas' name would have been if he had been born human; and Sam saw what was going to happen, but was unable to stop it.

"Dean and Castiel Winchester" other Dean said simply. "We're married".

Sam closed his eyes and waited for all Hell to break loose.

The outburst Sam expected didn't come. Instead, Dean was struck dumb. He stared at them blindly, swallowing before eventually forcing out, "Married?"

"Yes" other Dean confirmed, taking other Cas' hand, as if he was used to it, as if it was nothing special, and of course it wasn't, not for them.

Sam glanced at Cas and saw everything he'd feared.

The pure longing on his face –

Dean hadn't noticed, thank God, but his counterpart had, and mustered him with something akin to pity. He quickly looked away though; perhaps, being born human, he had learned the art of subtlety, something their friend still struggled with.

Other Dean was about to say something when his husband nudged him with his elbow. He looked at him, and they had a silent conversation.

If Sam had been forced to define their "profound bond" that would have been it.

It was strangely touching to see other Dean shout his and Cas' counterpart concerned glances before drawing his hand back.

He cleared his throat.

"We tied the knot three years ago. We'd been together for four".

Sam nodded.

"And you are – hunters. Like the ghostbusters?"

"Definitely not" Dean said in a voice that brooked no argument, and other Dean fell silent.

"Why are we here?" his husband finally asked in his deep voice; and they could only shrug their shoulders.

"First a floating douche who turns good, then disappearing folk, now this? What's next?" Dean demanded. "I swear to God, if we don't clean this up soon...

"At least we know it's not demons" Cas interrupted him, and there was enough bitterness in his voice to prove Sam had been right.

Cas had been jealous when Dean had called Crowley.

Jealous because he was no longer the first superhuman creature Dean called.

Of course this could all have been avoided if Dean had just been honest with himself for once, but Sam doubted that would happen in the immediate future.

Although there was something about Dean's reaction to the news. He hadn't freaked. He hadn't screamed. He was incredulous, it was true, but not downright hostile.

And that gave Sam more hope than he could have thought possible.

Of course Cas wouldn't see it that way. He would think he had been right, that Dean would never have feelings for him.

Maybe, while working the case, Sam could use the situation to his and their advantage.

He had always been good at multi-tasking.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked the pair.

"Like Dean already explained, we were going to get lunch. He'd come to collect me from my office and we were walking to the parking lot..." other Cas frowned and turned to his Dean.

"Do you remember anything else, love?"

Naturally Cas, adoring angel, well human, that he was, would be the one to give his husband pet names, Sam realized. There was something so intimate, so right about the way he pronounced "love" too, like he truly meant it.

And the strange Dean wasn't fazed at all. He knew his brother well enough to be certain that he would have objected to being called anything other than his name, but this Dean didn't mind in the slightest, just gave him a smile as he shook his head.

"No cold spots? No bright lights?"

They shook their heads again. So they had no clues.

Dean was the one who voiced their thoughts.

"Now what?"

They had been beamed into a parallel universe where they had been actors.

They had fought monsters whose only weakness was cleaning fluid.

They had had to fight their way through tv channels.

But this, this was by far the weirdest shit ever to happen to them.

Sammy was calm and interested, of course, and Cas had probably seen enough stuff in his billion plus years of existence to not think this weird, but Dean could barely look at the couple.

Couple.

As in, married.

He and Cas? How? Their universe must be radically different from the one he was used to. Well, it was; there was no supernatural stuff.

That they knew of, he suddenly realized. Their lives might be normal and they might be human, but that didn't mean that there were no hunters in their world.

Maybe there had been an Apocalypse after all, and Leviathans, and whatever crap they had fought over the years, but they had got lucky and had never been involved.

And, of course, they'd gotten married because there had to be some universes in which he was gay. It was only logical. If there were an infinite number of universes, there were an infinite number of possibilities, so he had to be gay in at least one of them. No big deal. It wasn't like he and Cas were anything like that, so it was cool, who was he to judge?

Really, if this Dean wanted dick, he wouldn't throw a fit. Sure, it was a little awkward, with Cas there and all, but it was not like Dean wanted to jump his bones or even hold his hand like his kind-of-twin had done. He certainly didn't. He just wanted Cas to be safe and happy. Come to think of it, his counterpart looked pretty content, even in this scary situation. Actually, other Dean was pretty relaxed too, all things considered.

They knew one another to be safe though, at least for the moment, they were sitting next to one another, they could feel one another right there with them; there was no reason to freak out.

Or that's how he would feel in their situation. Perhaps it also helped that Sam wasn't there with them and he didn't have to look after his little brother.

Because other him certainly looked better than what he was used from looking into a mirror.

In fact, he was avoiding them these days. Too many memories staring out of his lifeless eyes.

But this man – him – no, a stranger – man this was confusing – was actually looking pretty good, like he got more than four hours of sleep at night – and that was only when Dean was lucky.

The getup he wore confused him, though. Say his life was normal – what would he have become? A mechanic or bartender, heck, maybe a construction worker, he didn't have the brains for more. So why was this version sporting a tie and nice shirt and pants? He wouldn't need those in a garage.

He was curious but at the same time it was probably better not to ask too much. He'd watched enough sci-fi movies to be aware that mixing universes wasn't really a good thing, and his own experience with that weirdass world where he'd been an actor and his Baby had been a prop confirmed that.

So, yeah, better not ask. He should be happy they were taking all this in so well; he didn't want to have two normal people with nervous breakdowns on his hands, thank you very much.

He felt Cas move closer to him and threw a glance in his direction.

The ex-angel's face was blank, like the day they had first met, and he didn't like it. Was Cas disgusted with the thought that they were married? Did he think he could never feel that way for Dean, that Dean had burned in Hell and no matter which world, he had to be bad enough to deserve it?

And why did it matter anyway? Why did he care? It wasn't like he was thinking about it, like there was even a possibility – he didn't want – that was just crazy –

Finally he had enough of his thoughts and demanded, "Now what?"

He had perhaps voiced his question a little too sharply; the husbands jumped and moved even closer together.

Cas watched it all his face passive, he hoped, after that first few seconds when he had betrayed himself to Sam.

In another world, he and Dean were married.

In another world, a world in which he had not made so many mistakes, in which he had been born human, Dean could love him, could live with him and spend time with him and touch him –

It was almost too much. As an angel, his feelings had been but a drop in the ocean of his existence; nothing but a passing fancy in the millennia he had spent – and even then they had been strong enough to make him fall; but as a human, they were all-encompassing, ruling, suffocating him when Dean left and went to a bar and didn't come home for the night or ignored him again. He couldn't control them, and he was suffering for it.

He had thought, in the beginning, that he could. That he could be Dean's friend.

But he wasn't sure that Dean wanted to be his friend anymore, not with how he had been acting, and he didn't know what to do.

And there sat this Cas who wore Dean's name and a band around his finger and could hold his hand whenever he wanted.

Cas had soon learned what jealousy was. But he had never expected to be jealous of himself.

"What now" was a good question indeed, Sam had to admit. They had Dean's and Cas' look-a-likes in their room and a case to work on, and they couldn't leave them alone because they had no idea what to do if something attacked them.

He looked at his brother. They would have to split up, and he couldn't say how much Dean was affected by their visitors, or how much it would hurt Cas to have to be in the same room with them for a longer period of time.

The result of all his conjectures was the same.

"Why don't you go to the police, see what they got" he suggested, and Dean immediately jumped up from the bed, as eager to get away as he could be.

Cas, strangely, seemed to want to linger, but was eventually dragged out by Dean.

Sam sighed with relief as soon as they were done.

He looked at other Dean and Cas.

"Well then – any strange ideas? It can't hurt at this point".

Cas had taken forever to put on his suit and then daddled in the room for ten full minutes.

Dean had no idea why he was so eager to stay with their counterparts. Did he really like to imagine he had been born human? For everything he said, Dean still wasn't entirely convinced that Cas losing his grace again wasn't some sort of payback from a dick angel.

Or maybe he was trying to figure out how he could possibly have married Dean.

Dean really wondered why he wasn't against it. Sam had clearly expected an outburst (and been very relieved when it hadn't come, although he had tried to hide it, naturally) and actually, he would have to, now that he could think clearly and those two were out of his line of sight.

So why hadn't he freaked? He was straight and the thought of him being with other men had never even entered his head. Shouldn't he be freaked? Shouldn't he have had the gay panic attack other him had never had?

Did he really just wonder whether he should have a panic attack for someone else? But it wasn't someone else, was it? It was him, just under different circumstances –

"Dean?"

Cas sounded... sad? Dean frowned at his friend, who was standing next to the Impala.

"I'm sorry" he said, confusing Dean.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're not comfortable with us being – like – " Cas stumbled over his words, cursing his tongue. When he had been an angel, speech had come easily to him; but as a human, feelings made words hesitate, slip out without his meaning to say them. He knew Dean didn't want this with him, didn't want a marriage, didn't even want his comradeship anymore. It wasn't his fault that he desperately wanted more.

"I don't care, Cas. They're not us".

He spoke with less conviction than he had wanted. But they were not them; they were different. Human. Softer. More relaxed. He thought of the obvious well-rested Dean in the motel room. Yeah, there were worlds between them. Literally.

He started driving to the police station.

Sam had experienced many embarrassing silences with both Dean and Cas.

However, none had felt like this.

He cleared his throat. Did it again.

Dean laughed.

"Sammy does that when he's nervous".

"Well, he is Sam" Cas interjected.

"But not really. Not my Sam".

"But still – "

Before they could start a discussion that, knowing them (or not, this was confusing) could last for hours, Sam interrupted them.

"We have to find out what brought you here." He paused automatically, waiting for a sarcastic answer from Dean, but it didn't come. The husbands simply waited for him to elaborate.

He had to remind himself that this wasn't his Dean. He had lived a different life. He wasn't the brother he knew.

"There are many possibilities" he continued, "We can't exclude anything from angels to witches – "

"Angels?"

Of course Cas would get excited at that. He saw the same thought in Dean's indulgent smile.

"Yes."

"Is one named like me? Of course you have your Castiel, but – "

"Actually – " Sam stopped and bit his lip. How much could he tell them? This Cas was clearly eager to learn about angels. If he found out their Cas had been one, wouldn't he ask questions that would make him uncomfortable or sad? But this was Cas, albeit not the friend they knew. He was kind. He was good.

And so Sam made his decision.

"Cas used to be one".

"What?!" other Dean demanded, and it wasn't difficult to see he had put together that this meant Cas had fallen from grace – since he had a husband who was interested in the subject, he had probably heard enough about it in the years they'd been together.

"Yes, it's – complicated. And it hasn't been that long, so could you please – "

"No problem" Dean promised. "We won't say anything that could hurt him".

Sam smiled at his brother's usual over protectiveness. Of course he wouldn't want that.

"You really look just like Sam" Dean observed, "I mean, you should, but your mannerisms and body language are eerily similar as well".

It wasn't the first time other Dean had spoken in an unfamiliar way. His Dean spoke by no means like a redneck, but this one used a more sophisticated language, self-assured without being cocky, polite without being overly familiar. He gave the impression of being used to speak in public. Sam eyes his outfit again. He wondered what he worked as.

Maybe he had gone into law enforcement, or had built his own company. Sam knew his brother was smart, much smarter than he gave himself credit for.

He was looking at the result of Dean actually getting a good education, he knew; his polished manners were enough to prove that.

It felt bad and good at the same time.

Were he and his brother as close as Sam and Dean? Probably. Their bond wouldn't grow any weaker just because circumstances were different.

Dean, as if reading his thoughts, proved that when he said, "My brother is never going to believe this. He's too level-headed".

"What do you expect in his profession?" Cas admonished him, and Sam was gratified to see that it sprang from real sympathy for his brother-in-law.

"You're right".

"He's a lawyer, right?" Sam asked, giving into temptation.

Dean nodded. "Yes. He went to Stanford with a full ride" he boasted, and Cas rolled his eyes.

"Please, Dean, it sounds like he was the only one of the family to go to college."

"He got a full ride" Dean said defensively, and Sam got the feeling that this was an old argument between them especially since Cas just huffed, bumped him with his shoulder and replied, "And a part ride to Yale is nothing compared to it?"

"It's Sammy, it's totally different – "

"Yale?" he blurted out before he could help himself. He had always known that Dean was much smarter than he or their Dad had ever thought, but it was different to hear and see the confirmation.

So that was why he was wearing nice clothes. He was probably working a high-paid job after having graduated from Yale.

"What can I say? It accepted me, so I went" Dean answered and looked at Cas.

"One of the best decisions of my life".

"You sap" Cas mumbled, taking his hand again, and Sam was glad that his friend was out of the room. He didn't know how many public displays of affection Cas would be able to take.

And, of course, when he was alone with Dean, there was always the chance of something happening between them, a hope Sam hadn't yet relinquished despite everything. After all, their counterparts were married – just more proof that Dean was bisexual, surely? All the differences between them could be explained from circumstances only; but he and Cas still shared a profound bond, and he and Sam were close.

The essentials of what made Dean _Dean_ were all there.

Only that Dean wouldn't agree, because the lies about himself he'd made part of his life wouldn't allow him to admit that he wasn't exactly the man he posed as.

"So they aren't married" Dean said matter-of-factly and Sam could only nod.

"Not even together".

Another nod.

"And Dean is denying the truth with everything he has, pushing Cas away even though he wants to do nothing but draw him closer, lies to himself about who he is and what he desires and refuses to talk about it".

Sam raised an eyebrow. Other Dean laughed nervously.

"I met Cas in college, and I wasn't comfortable with my sexuality then" he explained. "I wouldn't admit there was something between us for years". He sounded guilty.

His husband squeezed his hand and moved closer to tell him quietly, "It's alright. It was worth the wait".

Sam would have given everything to be sure to hear Cas say those words one day.

Sam should have been doing research, but instead he kept talking to other Dean and Cas. He knew now that his first instinct of not asking too many questions had been right; the life they led was dangerously attractive.

From a half-sentence, he surmised that their Sam wasn't living alone, and he didn't want to hear about a life he had built with Jess, a world she had been allowed to live in.

So he stayed on the topic of Dean and Cas, trying to find parallels, to justify hope, to make his friend see the truth when they returned.

It mostly consisted of Dean telling the story and Cas now and then correcting him with the look of a stern professor.

Of course Cas would be the grumpy one in the relationship – at least when they were stuck in another universe.

"You should have seen how we danced around each other" Dean laughed.

"You danced. I was aware of what I wanted".

"He cried at the wedding – "

"Because you did – "

"We fought about the curtains for three days – "

"I never said a thing against them, I simply let you know that I wasn't happy with them".

"By giving me the silent treatment, Cas".

It hurt in a happy way, confusing as it was, to see what his brother could have been, what he and Cas could still be, Sam fervently hoped; but he had to stop, he had to concentrate.

He cleared his throat.

"Would you help me with my research?"

Their eyes lit up and even though they hadn't yet mentioned what they worked as, he decided it had to be something brainy.

"Seriously, would it kill them to do their job?" Dean exploded as he examined the files. Cas glanced around, glad that the police had left them alone in the room.

"You always say it's our job" he said. Dean huffed.

"Yeah, but I mean – come one! Some common sense would be nice. They have witnesses that a guy was levitating and what do they do? Nada, that's what they do".

"It would make our work very difficult if they should investigate".

Dean looked at him apologetically. "I know, Cas. I'm just – stressed".

Cas tensed. He didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to hear the thoughts Dean had been holding back.

He could live with Dean never loving him. He could even live with Dean not being his friend anymore. But he couldn't live with him being disgusted at the mere possibility, at a fantasy that would never be reality.

It was stupid to be jealous of himself, and yet he was.

He had known about parallel universes, as he had known about Heaven and Hell and Purgatory as the angel he had been; but he had never dwelled on the idea what he would be, what his life would be in one of them, whether he could actually be with Dean –

He was and he wasn't, and he didn't know what to do. There was another him with another Dean sitting in their motel room, and the other him could make his Dean laugh and smile and kiss him just because he could, and it hurt.

And at the same time he wanted, needed to see it, because it was the only time he would ever get a glimpse of this, of his dreams becoming reality.

"I mean, this case is really confusing" Dean added and he relaxed.

Dean decided to go the good old way of ignoring what was bothering him. True, it had a habit of returning and biting him in the ass, but he didn't think that would happen; after all, other him and Cas had shown up spontaneously, they might already be gone by the time they returned, so he wouldn't think about it.

Cas looked uncomfortable, and he should be, after all they weren't like that, and he didn't deserve someone like Cas in the first place, that was, if he had been like that, he wouldn't have deserved him, he had no idea how his freaky twin had got so damn lucky, but that was neither here nor there, the guy had obviously never hunted in his life so he was a different person, a totally different person who just happened to wear his face.

No big deal. All this would go away and he could go back to trying to keep his distance and let Cas find the life he deserved, the life he had fallen for.

Easy as pie.

He should have known it wouldn't be so simple.

When they came back to the motel room, all three were busy reading through the books they habitually carried with them on hunts; mostly encyclopaedias found by Bobby or the Men of Letters in times gone by.

And his counterpart was wearing glasses.

Freaking nerdy reading glasses.

He looked up, found Dean's face and smiled embarrassed.

"Too many nights reading" he shrugged.

"In insufficient light" his husband was quick to point out, and he rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Cas – "

"You only had one small lamp on the corner of your desk before I moved in, and you didn't get your eyes checked out until – "

"Yeah, yeah, saviour of my eyesight. Any luck?"

Dean was ignoring the smirk on Sammy's face; he was glad Cas was standing behind him so he couldn't see his expression.

Okay, so ignoring wasn't going to cut it.

"What?" he snapped at his brother.

"You look cute with glasses" he said innocently.

"Bitch."

"Jerk".

"There it is" other Cas mumbled to himself, his eyes on the page, and other Dean smirked at him.

"Found anything?"

"Aside from wishing we could take this text back with me, I'm afraid not" other Dean replied, holding up a book the title of which Dean couldn't even read.

"What is that?"

"A century-old edition of two very rare puranas" other Cas answered instead of his husband, his eyes blazing with eagerness.

"I have been looking for them for quite some time, I need them for my next paper – any chance we could take copies?"

Dean nodded dumbly because copies couldn't hurt, surely? They couldn't give them the real thing, God knew they needed it.

It was then that he realized that his other self read freaking Sanskrit like it was the back of a cereal box.

"You know Sanskrit?"

"He knows twelve languages" Castiel explained proudly.

"It comes with the territory" his other self said modestly.

"Dude, what are you?"

And then came the revelation that floored him almost as much as him and Cas being married in an alternate universe.

"I teach at Yale".

"Yale? Like the big university thingy?" Dean asked, completely flabbergasted, and Sam hadn't thought his confusion at finding his twin brainy and with a white-collar job would hurt so much.

He had had the impression that Dean was using his college degree to the outmost, and he had known that he studied at Yale, but he hadn't thought he was a professor.

"Yes" he confirmed, and now Sam understood his patience. He had probably dealt with thousands of students.

Dean decided that as far as he was concerned, this clinched the deal. They only shared a face, not single other characteristic.

He taught at Yale? YALE?!

As if having a younger brother in Stanford wasn't pretentious enough.

"Comparative Literature, in fact" he continued, and now Dean was definitely sure they couldn't be less similar. Comparative Literature? He'd never liked reading. Well, okay, Vonnegut was great, and there were a few other authors he wouldn't pass up if he got the chance (but everyone loved Bradbury, surely? Guy was a genius), but there was a big difference between that and – teaching stuff at Yale.

Freaking Yale.

"Cas is a professor of Religious Studies" other whoever-he-was (seriously, there was nothing besides their faces to connect them) boasted now, laying an arm around his husband, and it didn't freak Dean out because hey, being gay wasn't the most unlike-Dean thing this guy had done.

"It's not that impressive" Cas said, "Not when your professor singles you out the minute he sees you in your first semester".

"Because you were good. Let's make a deal: I stop being self-conscious about my position if you do the same".

Dean cleared his throat before other Cas could make good of the promise in his eyes and kiss his husband. There were some things he didn't need to see.

"And, anything in this Sanskrit thing?" he asked.

The guy shook his head. "No. Cas is adamant that the methods used do not stem from any Hindu ritual either... We just don't know what we're looking for".

"Welcome to my life, buddy" he mumbled as he went to the bathroom, intent on getting out of the suit.

Cas' eyes followed him, and a glance at his version from the other reality made it painfully obvious that he had noticed.

He quickly went to sit beside Sam.

"The police have nothing. They do not think either the first victim's levitation or the two disappearances particularly strange".

Sam sighed.

"One of these days, someone is gonna pop up who will, and then we'll have a new Henriksen on our hands. Let's enjoy it while it lasts".

Cas took a book from the pile they had yet to go through. He stayed in the suit. He was sued to it – he hadn't worn anything different for years.

Year – time had changed. As an angel, he hadn't thought anything about the millennia passing by. But now a month, a day, a second, meant so much. He knew he couldn't expect to live longer than fifty more years at the most – and he recognized his desire to spend them with Dean; but there was nothing he could do about it; and the sooner he accepted that, the better.

Sadly, it was difficult with the reminder of what could have been if he had begun his existence in another universe sitting on the bed and reading.

Dean washed his face and, with a sense of relief, got out of the monkey suit. His other self might like dress shirts and ties; they weren't for him. Just like that whole life style. Seriously, teaching annoying kids at Yale? No thanks. An apple-pie life wasn't for him, he had learned that the hard way. They probably had Sam over for dinner on Sundays and held hands when they went to watch movies and talked about everything about a burger afterwards, geeking out about Budism or whatever, God help him.

If it hadn't been for the resemblance, he could easily have handled this.

But nope, guy had to show up with his face and married to his best friend.

Well nice it worked out so well for him.

Dean clenched his teeth. He wasn't jealous of his stupid perfect normal life. He would never have been able to live it anyway.

Cas decided he liked this different Dean.

His counterpart was silent and grumpy, which he had to admit was his human reaction when things didn't go according to plan, and being sucked into a different universe was definitely not according to plan.

Dean though provided silent comfort, was nice and relaxed and so open – he answered questions without any reluctance. It was nice change. His Dean never liked being questioned, and he was never honest when it came to his feelings.

He was also very intelligent. Cas could easily believe that he could have become a professor at Yale if he had chosen to do so.

That he clearly didn't believe it saddened him.

It was easier to concentrate on the similarities and differences between them than on – the other stuff, as Dean would have called it.

"The other stuff" being the rings on their fingers.

They looked happy together. They were in a different universe, had no idea why or if they would even make it home, and they were happy together.

Cas looked away.

"At this point I'm not even sure the disappearances are connected with anything" Sam said.

Dean agreed.

"Maybe we got one psycho running around, human but still into killing folk, and a supernatural being. Joy".

"We don't know that" Cas interjected. "It would be a rather big coincidence to have humans as well as creatures attacking the town".

"At least it's not a ghost or a witch" Sam supplied.

"Only one million to go" Dean replied, sighing.

"So, how far have you come with the books?"

"You – these two have helped a great deal" Sam said, "but I'm not even sure what language some are supposed to be in".

He held out a book. Dean couldn't pronounce the title and was pretty sure he had never heard this language in his life.

"Great. So we got all this useful books and no chance of reading them".

Cas took it and tried to remember. He had known every language on earth. He had been able to identify it at a glance. Since he had fallen, he was as hopeless in front of many tongues as a non-prophet trying to read one of the tablets God had dictated.

"I think it's a native language – " he trailed off, cursing his human brain. Why couldn't he remember? Why couldn't he know like he used to? Dean wouldn't ignore him, then. He wouldn't draw back. He would see that he was still useful and they could be friends.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder as the book was removed from his hand.

He didn't have to look up. He knew that other Dean had taken pity on him, remembering the feel of his hand as he told him "Don't ever change".

He had changed. He had ruined everything.

"Navajo" other Dean identified at a glance, and Dean was going to scream. What right had this asshole to just touch Cas like that? He couldn't just put his hand on his shoulder whenever he wanted, shouldn't he know that, being a hotshot professor and all, with his stupid glasses and his stupid tie? And why would he take the book from him like that? Cas had been holding on to it, he shouldn't have taken it, that was just impolite.

What a dick.

"I thought they didn't write anything down" Dean said, although he hadn't meant to (but this guy touching his – touching Cas had really thrown him off) and felt Sam's stare but he refused to look at him. So he'd read a little about the Navajo code. That stuff was interesting.

"They didn't have a writing culture until they were introduced to it in the 1800s. Nowadays though there's even a Navajo newspaper" other Dean lectured. He wondered if he knew he sounded like a professor at all times. He wasn't talking to students now, he could really have toned it down a bit.

"The Navajo have a rich tradition of myths and tales. I thought it could be useful in my fields – students always remember better when there are strange examples involved. Plus, Cas needed some information about their religion, so – "

"So you learned it because you felt like it".

Other Dean shrugged.

"It was difficult, but I managed".

"Of course you did" Dean mumbled. The sooner they got rid of the touchy know-it-all the better.

"So?" he demanded after his twin had checked out the book for a few minutes.

"Give me some time. This is going to take a while."

Dean looked at his brother. They both had the same thought. They couldn't send them back, and they couldn't risk allowing them to leave.

The couple would have to stay the night.

Just Dean's luck.

Night had fallen and they still hadn't gotten anywhere.

Other him was working on the book, his husband constantly at his side.

Dean rolled his eyes. Cas had had his problems with personal space, but this was just ridiculous. He'd never want a relationship that was attached at the hip. He needed time for himself.

Maybe this Dean was different, or this Cas was different. His Cas certainly knew when to need him alone, and while translating a difficult language would certainly have been on that list.

Nothing was heard but their breathing.

He had the suspicion that Sammy had been talking to them while he and Cas had been gone. He wouldn't have had a problem with it, only –

He wasn't completely dumb. Sure, he was nowhere on college professor levels, but he could put two and two together.

And if Sam and him had never been hunters, no demon had ever come after Jess.

He didn't want Sam to be tortured by visions of a life he couldn't have.

His brother had been through enough. He didn't need to be haunted by Jess after all these years.

He didn't want to, but he would have to talk to his mirror image later, alone, to make sure he didn't let anything slip that might hurt Sam.

He wasn't worried about Cas. His friend had seen enough, known enough not to be freaked, and as to him actually wanting that life –

Yeah, he could totally see Cas wanting to teach stupid pretentious douchebags and beings married to one to boot.

He might be human, might even have chosen to be human (and Dean would have doubts about that to his dying day) but there was no way he would find this appealing.

He needed _glasses_ in this universe, for crying out loud.

He figured they'd be okay as long as he kept Sam away from all the apple-pie life crap.

Thank God he had his own room.

This of course meant they were still two beds short – no, one bed. He assumed the couple would want to sleep in one bed, but so help him God, if anything funny would be going on he'd pull out his gun. He didn't want to be scarred for the rest of his life.

Cas didn't think that Dean disapproval was rolling of him in ways.

He was sure.

He hoped.

Because if he knew, if he was doing it consciously –

Did he know? Had he always known what Cas felt for him and was this his reaction?

He concentrated on reading, doing the best he could to ignore the happy couple who had everything he would ever want and could never have.

Maybe this Cas was better. Maybe this Cas deserved the life he lived. He had brought so much chaos into the world, he didn't deserve anything, least of all Dean.

So maybe he was right to show how disgusted he was.

Dean was going to explode any second, and Sam would as well, but for an entirely different reason.

His brother was being an idiot. The truth was staring him right in the fact and he chose to ignore it, hurting Cas in the process.

The fallen angel was quiet. Too quiet. And every so often Sam could see his eyes stray towards his mirror image, happily married and leading a successfully mortal life.

He needed comfort as it was and with Dean in the mix...

Then Sam noticed something else.

While other Cas ignored the tension in the room – possibly so he wouldn't have to deal with the implication of his almost husband's behaviour – but other Dean studied every gesture his brother made while still reading his book.

He had to make sure that his students were listening while talking, so the multi-tasking made sense, Sam supposed.

He saw everything, saw Dean slowly withdrawing himself more and more until he was sitting on his bed, completely isolated by the "let me alone" vibe he was giving them, saw Cas shrink on his chair, and Sam recognized the tension in his brother's shoulders.

Dean was pissed.

And when Dean was pissed, it was best to get out of the way because he wasn't the most rational of creatures when he was furious.

Normally, Sam would have seen this as a problem.

But since his brother needed someone to point out the painfully obvious and he wouldn't believe anyone else than, well, himself, other Dean flipping out was the best that could happen.

Something was wrong, Cas decided. Sam actually looked... cheerful. He swallowed, wondering if the younger Winchester found his feelings for his brother just as abhorrent as Dean did, and if he was glad that they had this chance of demonstrating exactly how unwelcome any advances would have been.

If this was the case, it was unnecessary. Dean had shown him quite clearly that he hardly wanted to be in the same room as him most of the time, so Cas had soon given up hope after moving to the bunker.

He had been unreasonable, he supposed. Dean had only ever been with women. He had cradled his soul in his hands, rebuilt his body and knew there had been other... desires, but Dean had never acted on them, so he didn't want to. Wouldn't want to.

And apparently Cas was not the man to tempt him to change his perception of his sexuality.

"I'm tired" Sam finally announced while other Dean was scribbling down something he'd read, and other Cas was making sense of a curious theological text from the fifteenth century. "Time to hit the hay".

"Yeah, about that – " Dean said. "Where are we gonna put them?"

He nodded towards the couple without looking in their direction. Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"What do you mean? They can stay here".

"We only have two beds, genius".

"We can share" other Cas said. "We usually do".

Dean did _not_ like the look that accompanied that sentence.

"Don't you think – "

Other Dean rolled his eyes.

"We are able to keep our carnal desires in check for a few hours" he told him.

Too bad he wasn't able to keep his damn language in check. Dude had swallowed a dictionary when he was little, there was no other explanation.

"Fine. I'll sleep in Baby".

"Baby?"

Dean blanched. Oh God. He didn't even have his car?

"The Impala" Cas supplied, his deep rumble comforting. Dean unconsciously moved towards his voice.

He couldn't imagine a world where the Impala wasn't home to him. He'd lived in it for years. It had given him and Sam the comfort of having something to return to even though they hadn't had a house since they were four years and six months old.

"Ah" Dean said and nodded. That was it, just "ah"?

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Cas and I took a road trip just the other day – "

" _She_ 's beautiful" Dean interrupted him.

"You should care more about the people in your life instead of inanimate objects".

Now he was lecturing him. He was going to deck that son of a bitch –

"We could share too, Dean" Cas interrupted his seething rage.

"What?" he squeaked, all thoughts of flooring his other self fleeing his mind.

"Friends platonically share beds all the time. I don't see how it would be a problem for us" Cas explained. He hoped it wasn't obvious that he wished, selfishly, for one night next to Dean, one night to feel his warmth, one night knowing he was only a few inches away.

"No, Cas. I'm not sharing a bed with you and that's final".

It was final. The way he said it – it wasn't exactly disgust, but a strong displeasure in his voice, and Cas flinched.

He hadn't meant to.

It was official.

Sam was going to kill his brother.

Other Dean lifted the tension somewhat by clearing his throat, looking through his and Cas' bags for t-shirts and sweatpants, completely silent, and dragging his husband to the bathroom. Dean was too busy trying to understand why Sam was pissed off and Cas looked like he'd just killed a puppy to object.

He decided it didn't matter, grabbed his duffle bag and left. He'd slept in Baby often enough. One more night made no difference.

"Cas – " Sam began as soon as the door had closed behind Dean. Cas shook his head.

"It's alright Sam. Good night".

And then he lay down, suit pants and all, pulling the blanket over his head like a small child, and Sam left for his room, knowing that it wouldn't help to talk to either of them.

He didn't know that, ten minutes later, the husbands emerged from the bathroom, their hair standing up on their heads and both of them flushed but ready for bed and Dean saw Cas lying in bed.

He also didn't know that pulling his blanket over his head was something Dean's husband did when he was upset. Very upset.

He didn't think. He just moved towards the door.

"Wait".

His husband held him back with a hand on his wrist.

"Don't go to hard on him" he said. "He's got some good qualities".

Dean smirked and kissed Cas before finding the parking lot. He hit on a window with his flat hand, guessing that it would immediately rouse his look-alike. When he left the vehicle to glare at him, he shved him back and announced, "We need to talk".

Shit. Dean knew that tone.

There was no way he was going to get out of this.

Cas hoped that he – that Cas (he hoped they could soon return to their world; it was confusing enough already) got some sleep. He couldn't imagine being in the same situation, being treated like this.

Having Dean treat him like this.

His husband. His lover. His best friend.

The day he had told him that he loved him, that he wasn't as heterosexual as he had come to believe himself, had been the happiest of Cas' life. He had already resigned himself to the fact that nothing would ever happen between them when everything did, and he had never looked back.

Dean had changed his life back then. He'd been working on his degrees in religious studies, unsure if he should follow the family tradition of becoming a priest or not; most of his relatives had already labelled him as a disappointment because he had acted out during his teenage years.

But Dean had become his friend regardless, and after days, weeks and months of discussions about the future and where they really wanted to be, Cas had realized that he enjoyed teaching more than anything.

That Dean liked it too was just a bonus.

He couldn't imagine where he would be without his husband.

Even in the dim light he could see the ring he never took off and he gently closed his hand around it.

He wasn't sure whether he should speak or not, but his look-alike took the decision from him.

"I'm sorry about Dean. He can be... hot-headed".

Cas didn't look in his direction. He could tell that at least he'd put his head out from under the covers.

"Don't I know it" he said fondly. Their fights mostly consisted of Dean eventually blowing up, leaving and coming back minutes later to apologize profusely.

Silence settled over them and he realized he'd said the wrong thing. He'd spoken without thinking, reminding this Cas of his and Dean's relationship, a relationship he ardently wished for.

Everybody could tell. He hadn't counted the longing looks he'd thrown the hunter. Was Dean really ignorant or was he truly ignoring him?

Cas couldn't imagine anything worse. Dean had been angry, frustrated and annoyed with him. He had seen him furious, said, confused. But he had never ignored him, never dismissed his presence.

"I'm sure everything will calm down once we return".

"I suppose".

He shouldn't ask. It wasn't his place to ask.

"Have you two never – "

"Never. He doesn't see me like that. I came to accept a long time ago that my feelings were one-sided".

"That's what I thought".

He heard his doppelganger sit up and finally glanced in his direction. The light filtering in from the street lamp opposite the window illumed other Cas' bed head, and he suppressed a smile. Apparently Dean had been right – he looked cute getting up.

"But he is so open with you" he replied, "so affectionate".

"It took some time. Years, in fact. I thought he was straight. And then –" he chuckled. "Sam to this day still tells everyone that he talked sense into Dean, but I'm certain he would have come to the conclusion eventually".

"And you've been together ever since".

He sounded awed, like he couldn't imagine this ever becoming reality, and it hurt.

"Yes. We got married three years ago".

"I used to be angel".

It was so calmly said, so out of the blue, that at first Cas didn't understand.

"Sorry?"

"I used to be an angel. I'm human now, but – I pulled Dean out of Hell. It's how we met".

He swallowed as he recalled his husband's words "You really pulled me out of a flunk, Cas. I was pretty down after Dad's death".

Then he realized that Cas meant he'd literally been an angel, and that –

"Dean went to Hell? Actual Hell?"

"Yes" he confirmed without emotion. Maybe he was too used to the story to react to it –

But _Dean_. His gorgeous husband with his happy laugh, his gentle touch, the love he gave so freely.

"Dean doesn't deserve to go to Hell".

"He never did. He sold his soul for Sam's life".

He could understand that. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his little brother.

"And you pulled him out?"

"I was ordered to". A pause. Then, hesitating, "My whole existence, my orders – it all changed when I met him".

"I understand."

"He had the most beautiful soul. Even in Hell. I cradled it in my hands – " He stopped. Perhaps it was too intimate a topic to be discussed further.

"I've always been human" he provided. "I'm from Canaan, Connecticut".

"Do you have a family?"

It was a strange question – or perhaps not so strange. After all, he had never heard of angel families, and angels were the topic of his dissertation after all.

"It's always been me and my siblings, as long as I can remember. Mother and father – they weren't really cut out to be parents. So our oldest brothers took care of us – "

"Michael and Lucifer".

"They actually went with Lucian. Not even our mother could find it in herself to name someone after the devil – "

"He wasn't – "

"I know."

"But I'm only really close to three of my siblings..." He trailed off, but this time Cas didn't interrupt him.

"Gabriel, and Anna, and – "

"Balthazar".

There lay so much sorrow, so much guilt in the name that he didn't dare to ask.

"And you met Dean in college?"

"We shared a room".

"It sounds wonderful".

He wondered if he knew how wistful he sounded.

Other him moved on the bed and cleared his throat, apparently realizing; and said, with something almost like false bravado but not without pride, "We stopped the Apocalypse".

"So that's real too?"

"Here, yes. I don't know about your world. Maybe angels, demons and hunters exist and you simply aren't part of the life."

"That's... a lot to take in".

"From what I understand, you teach religious studies".

"I do. But it is one thing to believe, it's another to _know_."

He, unlike Dean and Sam, had always had Faith; in fact, it had always helped him with his work. But to know that Heaven and Hell existed, and that there were angels – angels who could apparently fall like Lucifer, could fall in love with humans.

And one of these former angels looked like him and had the same name as him and loved the same man he had loved for years.

But the man was scarred and scared, unable to admit his feelings, and it was causing them both pain.

He feared to know what Dean's and Sam's lives had been like. Just judging from the motel room, they couldn't have a lot of money. His husband was a bit of a neat freak because of his fear of germs (although he'd never admit it) and he doubted he would have set foot in this establishment voluntarily.

These Winchesters must be all too used to such places.

And this Castiel...

He bit his lip. He didn't know what to say. There had been times when he had felt that life had treated him unfairly.

He'd been wrong. So very wrong. These hunters – they had it worse, far worse than he'd ever had it.

He didn't know what to do.

But, when soon after Cas had laid back down, his husband came back, gave him a quick kiss and cuddled up to him, he made the decision that they had would not leave until they had brought a little bit of happiness into their lives.

Dean tried to prove his annoying twin wrong, but professor or not, gay or not, he really did know himself and he spent hours rolling around in the back seat, the words coming back to him over and over.

Why couldn't the guy just accept that this just had to be? He couldn't smother Cas; guy deserved to have a life, Dean shouldn't be hanging around him all the time. In fact, if he wanted Cas to be happy and safe, he should probably move to the other end of the earth just to be sure.

And as to him and –

Well, of course they were close. They were friends. Best friends. And in another life, where he actually dug dudes and Cas just happened to do as well, and they were always together, and Dean was actually worthy of something good happening –

But not here. Not ever.

He had never even looked at one guy like that, let alone Cas who was good and smart and kind and good-looking –

What? Had he just –

No. It was the influence of the happy coupled. That was all.

Cas heard Dean's counterpart come back and cuddle up with his husband.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Thankfully they were very quiet.

He didn't think he could have taken whispered love confessions.

Everything was... sharper for humans. Every emotion felt raw and strong, pulsing through one's body. Most days, he was exhausted by evening just by identifying every feeling he had throughout the day.

But he'd always been in control. Being Dean's friend – in the moments the older Winchester had allowed him to be – had been enough.

A few hours ago, Dean giving up his bed so Cas wouldn't have to even though he was smaller than him and would have better fit into the backseat would have been enough.

It was seeing it, it was seeing what could never be that made it so difficult. Cas used to wonder at the willingness of victims of Djinns to stay in their dream world even though they knew it wasn't real.

If he was caught and woke up next to Dean, a Dean who loved him and held his hand and cherished him, like this one did, if he was suddenly as happy as this Castiel Novak, could he free himself?

He couldn't answer and the thought scared him.

On the one hand, he didn't want to leave Dean behind.

On the other, he had barely even looked at him since their visitors arrived.

Would their relationship sour even more now? Would he be unable to distinguish between Cas and Castiel Novak?

Had this finally made him realized how Cas felt towards him?

He tried to sleep.

He didn't succeed.

This was a mess. Sam gave up on trying to get some rest and sat up, reaching for his laptop.

This was just a mess. Dean was angry, Cas was livid and... well, mostly the couple was confused. In a way, it could have been worse; he certainly didn't want a freaked out version of his brother on his hand.

He had hoped to make Dean slowly realize his feelings, working on it step by step. He'd got smacked in the face with it today.

God knew what would happen. Cas obviously thought he was disgusted; it had been clear that the former angel thought all hope was gone.

And it wasn't.

They had the proof in front of them, for crying out loud.

Sam sighed, started reading and wondered if he should attempt to summon a cupid. If he was lucky, it would be one of the angels they hadn't pissed off.

Dean was woken up by gently taps on the car window; he must have dozed off after all.

Cas was standing in front of the car, his Cas, thank God, no, not his, that was something other Dean would say with his stupid dress shirts and his stupid glasses and his stupid perfect marriage –

Dean opened the door and scrambled out. His back protested, reminding him that he'd be pushing forty soon.

"Hey, Cas".

"Hello, Dean. I brought you coffee".

He held out a cup and took a sip of his own. He had dark shadows under his eyes; clearly Dean hadn't been the only one who'd had troubled to go to sleep.

It was one of his biggest fear that Cas would underestimate his needs as a human. He'd been alright before, but he'd only been human for a short time, not for the rest of his life, and he continually kept watch to make sure he was resting and eating.

He didn't blame him that he hadn't slept well that night, though. He himself felt like he'd been hit by a bus.

"How are you?" he asked, surprising himself. Cas looked down at his cup and shrugged.

"I'm fine. A little tired."

"Yeah, me too".

And he should have just shut up then, they drinking their coffee in an awkward silence and then waking up the honeymooners who'd taken over their room, but his mouth decided to do what he did best, talking when he shouldn't.

"So what do you think of them? Our nice, clean, PG-13 versions?"

"They are very polite" Cas said curtly.

"Yeah, but imagine – in another life we're professors and... stuff".

What was he saying? He didn't want to talk to Cas about that. Not now, not ever. Which was why he was going to shut up. This very moment.

"Would you like that? Having an apple-pie life bossing students around?"

Jesus Christ, had Veritas risen from the dead? He couldn't keep his damn thoughts to himself and here his insecurities were, displayed in front of his best friend.

Cas – blushed? He actually blushed? What the hell?

"I think it must be rather pleasant" he said, "But I want to be with you... and Sam, of course".

He had imagined the pause between his and Sam's name. He definitely had. There was no way he was special to Cas who had lost so much because of him.

"You never think you want something else? Settle down, find a job?"

Seriously, what the hell? Why would he ask that? Cas was bound to think of it anyway, so why would he ask? He didn't want to give him ideas. He wasn't looking forward to Cas doing what was best for him and leaving.

And when had he moved so that he was standing even closer to Cas? He was looking into his eyes, and every time he did, he was surprised again at how blue they were, this couldn't be simply Jimmy, his Grace, while he had it, must have done something to them, making them shine –

"The work we do is very important, Dean".

"I know. I just thought – "

Thank God he fell silent then. And what had he been thinking before Cas had talked? He decided he shouldn't talk before he hadn't had at least one cup of coffee.

"I'm happy, Dean". Cas didn't sound convinced of his own happiness as he said it. "You have to believe me".

Dean might have challenged the statement if he hadn't been allergic to chick-flick talks and Cas hadn't sounded so desperate all of a sudden.

"I do, Cas" he said. "Just checking on you, man".

He squeezed his shoulder.

"Let's look after the Sleeping Beauties".

Cas forced himself to relax his grip on his cup so that he didn't spill anything.

For a few minutes, Dean had been... open with him, completely open for the first time in... he didn't remember. He'd looked at him fondly, he'd been standing close to him, he had appeared eager to know that Cas was happy.

Even when he'd still treated him as a friend at all times, he had never been like this.

And then, of course, the hope that had returned against his will was shattered once more when Dean patted his shoulder and called him "man", like so often; this was all he'd ever be; Dean's "man", Dean's "buddy".

He followed him and hoped they wouldn't find the husband in a position likely to cause Dean to lash out at them.

They were awake; Dean was taking a shower, Cas sitting at the table, waiting for his husband.

"Good morning".

Of course Cas had been polite enough to bring coffee for all of them.

Sam stumbled in just as Dean's twin left the bathroom.

"Hey, Rip Van Winkle".

Sam shot him an annoyed look.

"I was up half the night, and I didn't find anything that could pull people out of their universe."

He saw the husband trade a glance and guessed what they were thinking. If time passed at the same speed in their universe, their Sam – the lawyer – would have noticed they were missing by now. He had never known a normal life, not truly, not even when he was so desperate to believe it, and he couldn't imagine what it must be like to have that and suddenly find your brother and best friend vanished without any explanation. They had to get them back soon.

"Alright" Dean suddenly stood up. "Before we sit around doing squad, let's do what we do best and re-examine the case. Cas, suit".

Other Cas half-heartedly started to protest that "But the road runner never chased the Coyote", but thankfully his husband whispered something to him again and he fell silent.

"We're gonna re-interview the wife of the guy who went poof" Dean announced and Sam didn't bother to assure him that she'd told him all she knew.

He could guess only too well why he had to leave.

He didn't like Cas questioning him, whether it was his friend or not.

"I am sorry if I upset your brother" he said now, looking sad. "I certainly never meant –"

"He'll get over it. He's stubborn and has a temper. Trust me, I know" his husband interrupted him and Sam couldn't help but return the easy grin his not-brother gave him.

He couldn't remember when he'd last seen his brother so relaxed.

Minus the slight tension because he was stuck in a different universe, naturally.

"How are you two holding up?" he asked; he couldn't risk them actually just being in shock.

They shrugged simultaneously. One of these things that happened when one was together for years.

"It's not easy, and to be honest, I'm not helping matters, if you know what I mean" Dean said, sharing a conspiring look with his husband that Sam stored away to wonder about later. "But we're together. If Cas weren't her..."

He took his hand.

Sam recalled weeks, months, a year when they hadn't been able to reach Cas, Dean climbing up the walls, praying every night under his breath, thinking that Sam didn't know, didn't see, remembered empty bottles in the bin that hadn't been there when he went to sleep, traces of someone pacing up and down on the carpet, and never had his brother said anything.

And now he had Cas with him, could be as close as he wanted to be, and he pushed him away.

Not to hurt him. Dean would never do that. He wanted to protect Cas, and since he was convinced that to protect those he loved, he had to make sure they weren't anywhere near him foer a longer period of time.

When he would finally get it into this thick skull of years that Cas, his hope long gone and unhappy, would still remain by his side until the end, Sam didn't know.

He only hoped, as he watched Cas lean into his husband's warmth that it would be soon.

_Please let them talk while they're out._

_Please let Dean not be a jerk._

_Please make him happy._

He was alone with Cas again, in the Impala, and this time he would keep his mouth shut. He had no idea what had possessed him this morning, but he was lucid now, and they were friends, simply friends, who were caught in a weird-as-fuck situation. Business as usual, then. He could do that.

Cas was strangely quiet, though. Not that he was a chatterbox normally, but his silence felt... different. They had long grown accustomed to silence between them, comfortable silence, the comfort of knowing that one didn't have to talk to the other person.

But this felt different. Like the times Cas had worked with Crowley, or been under Naomi's control. It didn't feel right, didn't feel like Cas.

Maybe he was freaking out over the terrible twins? Dean couldn't blame him. They were definitely toning down the PDAs, thank God; but in every glance they shared their love for, their commitment to each other was clearly –

Alright, the weird thoughts were back.

He glanced at Cas. Did he look tired? Yeah, a bit. The coffee had helped, though. Maybe they should stop on their way back, get a real breakfast. He hadn't yet introduced Cas to all the good stuff to eat that was out there...

"You should really look at the road more often, Dean" Cas commented, sounding suspiciously cheerful.

He turned his head away and asked, "You wanna stop for breakfast later?"

"I would like that".

Something of the tension seemed to lift. Dean sighed with relief.

"Our counterparts are idiots" other Dean announced out of the blue, and while Sam agreed, he certainly hadn't expected it, especially not while they were doing research and eating the breakfast he'd fetched from a nearby diner.

He looked up and blinked slowly.

Other Cas didn't seem surprised. Then again, Dean was prone top outbursts when he was frustrated, and if this guy had essentially the same personality and only more luck when it came to his upbringing and job security, it probably wasn't that surprising at all.

"See?" he exclaimed and pointed at Sam. "He can see it too!"

"Considering your brother begged you to do something because he couldn't stand "the eye-sex" anymore, I don't think that's strange".

And then Sam was laughing, because the thought of him always stuck with these idiots in whatever universe was hilarious, in a way.

"But come on, he's more stubborn than I ever was".

Suddenly, a queer expression came over his face and he glanced at Sam.

It dawned on him that this man with all his brother's qualities was actually being considerate, worried that, since he didn't know much of their lives, he'd upset him. It wasn't strange for Dean to worry about those he loved; but it was strange to show it so openly.

Unless it was on a completely overwhelming, freaked-out level like it had been for most of their childhood and even now in certain tense moments.

"He is stubborn" he said calmly. "I've been trying about broaching the subject, but... how did your brother do it?"

"It was somewhat easier than the whole..." Dean waved his hand in the air, confirming Sam's suspicions that he had already talked to his Dean.

"He was visiting me and Cas went home at night and he told me to "cut the crap". Plus the part with the eye-sex".

It did sound like him when he was desperate.

Sadly, he doubted that his brother would roll over and accept the truth as easily as this version had.

"I already told the other guy: I have no idea where Billy went. And he can stay wherever he is, thank you very much."

"We understand, Mrs. Dunbar, but we have to investigate regardless" Cas said calmly. He'd gotten really good at playing an agent, Dean thought with pride. He was also the best of them when it came to calming someone down – perhaps unsurprisingly. After all he used to be able to heal with a simple touch.

It really came in handy when one had to deal with a she-demon who didn't care that her husband had left the house and vanished into thin air. Granted, Dean didn't have the best track record when it came to relationships, but he still figured she should have been a little more upset.

Or perhaps not have shown how gleeful she was to be rid of him.

Dean couldn't detect any guilt that would indicate she'd either killed him or summoned a demon or something else to get the job done; but he doubted she would have felt very guilty even if that had been true.

"Man, imagine that as your wife!" he exclaimed as soon as they had left. "I'm hoping the guy bailed and is lying on some beach somewhere".

Cas frowned.

"He worked as an accountant for years, and he never showed any intention of leaving according to the police report".

"Sometimes people don't need a reason. Sometimes they just go".

Dean fell silent.

Cas looked at him, but he turned his head away.

His heart sank. He knew what Dean had been reminded of.

Cas had always left, even when Dean had still wanted him around. He had returned to Heaven again and again, undertaken other missions when his heart had lain with his best friend.

It was no wonder that Dean didn't wish to be around him now when he had ignored his prayers again and again.

"Sometimes they have no choice" he said softly, even though it was useless to try and make him understand.

"I know. Trust me, I know".

The reaction surprised Cas, but as he attempted to reply, Dean cut him off with a "Either way, the guy's done a disappearing act and we have no idea what happened to him. Signs point to him being involved somehow".

Cas nodded.

"It definitely seems that way".

Dean sighed.

"Other than that, we have wasted an hour listening to a woman complaining. Maybe me-wonder found something" he mumbled bitterly.

He figured if anyone could find something in all the lore they'd collected over the years it would be Mr. Perfect Yale Professor with the good life and the hot husband –

Wait. Track back. Not hot. Nice. Yeah. Cas was nice. He could do nice. Nice husband. That was it.

"Dean" Cas suddenly said and when he turned around, he saw the former angel had stopped walking and just stood still on the pavement, starring at him. He was reminded of how it had been in the beginning, when Cas hadn't yet been used to human communication.

"Cas? You need something?"

"You should stop putting down yourself constantly."

"What?"

"You called the alternate universe version of you "me-wonder", implying that you consider yourself beneath him. That is not true, Dean. You are very smart and would have succeeded in any career, academic or otherwise, you dedicated yourself to."

"Cas –" Dean began and then stopped. The look in his eyes – Cas hadn't meant to say all that.

What had happened to Dean this morning hadn't been the combination of too little sleep and bad impulse control.

Something had _made_ him go all hart-to-hearty. And it was happening to Cas now.

"Cas, just shut up. It went away on its own. Wait for a few minutes".

Sadly, that didn't seem to be in the cards so Dean could listen to his whole rant as he escorted him back to the car.

"You have the lowest opinion of yourself when you are one of the brightest souls, the best men I have ever encountered. You give everything to those you love and keep nothing for yourself; you are strong and bright and kind and good, and..."

He tuned him out as he drove to the motel. Whatever was happening in this town, it apparently had decided that it might take some time of making guys disappear or float and start complimenting him.

Maybe Cas having been an angel explained why he was affected differently than Dean.

Dean had spoken out loud whatever has popped into his head, what he had been thinking. And Cas couldn't possible think all that about him – he wasn't kind. He wasn't good. He was dumb and selfish, and Cas surely knew that after years of putting up with him.

No wonder he looked so panicked while he was forced to spew all this crap. He was scared Dean would believe him.

Cas wished it hadn't happened like this. He had longed to tell Dean who he was, how he and those who knew him saw him, but he had imagined another scenario, before he realized that Dean didn't even want to be his friend, never mind –

He had to stop thinking about it before he told him about those dreams too.

The urge to talk suddenly left him and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Welcome back, buddy" Dean said. "Must have been difficult listening to yourself explaining all that crap".

He really believed it, Cas could tell. He believed that he was worthless, just as he had believed he didn't deserve to be saved all those years ago.

He balled his hands into fists and turned his head to look out the window.

Of course Cas didn't even want to look at him now. God knew if he'd been forced to lie to a guy like this, he wouldn't want to talk either.

Dean stayed silent until they reached the motel.

"What happened?" Sam asked the moment they stepped through the door because the Sasquatch knew him better than anyone.

"Well, you were right about the wife" he said. "She's that close to throwing a party".

"And?" he insisted, their doppelgangers watching with interest. Seriously, couldn't they at least be at bit freaked out instead of totally reassured through their big epic love for one another?

"I believe I have been targeted as well" Cas explained.

"How? Are you alright?"

Dean was ready to swear he had seen other Dean move ever so slightly apparently a hard-wired response to help whatever Castiel was in distress.

He admitted begrudgingly that he could understand that.

"I am fine now, however my inhibitions were lowered considerably for about fifteen minutes".

"I've found several spells like that, both in my universe and this one" other Cas interjected.

"I thought your subject was religious studies" Dean said gruffly.

"Never heard of religions using spells?" other Dean shot back.

Sam stepped in before they could start arguing.

"In what way?"

"I couldn't control what I was saying".

Was it just Dean or did his brother actually look... disappointed for some reason?

"Same happened to me earlier today. Kept saying anything that popped into my mind".

Sam nodded.

"Alright, so we are dealing with someone who can lower a person's inhibitions, make them float and give them a character-overdo and apparently kidnap people as well".

"Sounds a bit all over the place for me" Dean said. In the corner of his eye, he saw the husband whispering to one another.

"About that" other Dean announce finally, looking at his husband with pride.

"I might have a theory" other Cas said. "Based on the assumption that myths are real in this world, I went through the native beliefs in this State, and when I – "

"Cas? I think they want you to speak faster" other Dean said, and he shot him an annoyed glance not without fondness before asking, "Have you ever heard of Tricksters?"

Despite the situation, it only took them three seconds to break into uncontrollable laughter; even Cas, who had known Gabriel the longest, couldn't hold back.

The couple just stared at them.

Eventually Sam pulled himself together long enough to explain, "You could say that".

Other Cas blinked slowly.

"We have run into a few" Sam continued while Dean finally calmed himself down and shared an amused glance with Cas.

And they were once again staring at one another.

Sam couldn't even remember when they'd laughed together openly the last time.

He looked at their counterparts and – just as he had suspected, they exchanged a meaningful glance.

Of course other Dean had to overdo it by pointedly clearing his throat, snapping his brother out of it and quickly looking away, scowling.

Cas' eyes dropped to the floor.

"So you think it's a Trickster? A specific one?"

"I remembered when Dean translated the text for me" weird Cas explained and Dean decided that he really didn't need to stare so heatedly at his husband while he said that. Please don't let them have a weird language kink.

"Since we are in a State with a strong Navajo percentage... There's Coyote".

"So you think we'll run into the road runner anytime soon?"

Other Cas rolled his eyes. "While the road runner cartoons may present an interesting theological commentary, I'm not talking about an animal buying explosives from the ACME corporation. I'm talking about Coyote, a Trickster in Navajo folklore".

"Alright, so the native Americans have their own Loki?"

"He's usually not represented as a God of mischief" their Cas was quick to answer. He still wasn't looking at them, and a wave of guilt washed over Dean as he realized he was beating himself up because he didn't remember. It wasn't his fault; with all that stuff he'd seen in millennia, he couldn't expect to keep it in a normal human brain. But Cas was Cas, which meant he was still very much an angel, only in human form, so he had to –

Did he really just think that? He might have to check he wasn't coming down with anything. It was these two – they were screwing with his brain.

"Tell us about Coyote" Sammy began, glancing at Cas, clearly concerned, and Dean understood what he wanted and gave his friend a few manly pats on the back. He might not deserve it, but they were friends, after all.

"Coyote is a Trickster, but he's not presented as one in all of the myths surrounding him" he began.

He immediately fell into professor mode, which didn't surprise Dean at all. Give him a badge, and he started going full fed in a blink; it was all habit.

"In some tales, he is stupid, the fool being made fun of; in others, he's the Trickster who outwits Gods and humans alike. Among other things, it is sad that he gave us the fire – "

"I knew someone who would have disagreed" Dean mumbled, and Sam jabbed at him with his elbow.

"– And the milky way."

"Has he ever hurt humans?"

"Mostly he tricks them".

"Well, maybe he got bored and decided to have some fun".

"Has he really hurt anyone? If this is Coyote, and I'm not saying it is – "

"Basically, he made a person and turned another into a sap. That runs under "damage" in my book".

Other Cas suddenly realized something and asked, his eyes opened wide, "What are you going to do to him?"

"What do you mean? We got to gank the son of a bitch before more people go poof".

"Gank – he's part of thousands of years of cultural heritage! You can't kill him!"

"What are we supposed to do? Ask him nicely to stop?"

"You could try; he's an intelligent – "

"You said he was dumb in some stories – "

"There's no point – "

"Alright, alright, why don't we just calm down" other Dean called out, standing up. Dean hadn't even realized he and this Cas freak had jumped up from their seats.

His counterpart placed his hand on the arm of his husband and whispered something in his ear that caused him to blush.

He preferred not to guess.

Cas wasn't sure if he still wished for the abilities he'd had as an angel, to hear what Dean had used to calm his spouse down.

He only knew that Dean would never talk to him like that.

"Look, we aren't keen on killing Coyote, if it is Coyote, anymore than you do. We'll be glad if we don't have to kill him" Sam stated, hoping that he was speaking for his brother as well. Dean's "gank anything supernatural" attitude had mellowed considerably, especially since he'd met Cas and Benny, but he could still be the old stubborn hunter if he wanted to be.

Especially when he was on edge, and he couldn't think of a better description of his current state of mind.

He seemed to decide that it wasn't worth the effort though and stayed quiet, allowing other Cas to believe that he agreed.

Dean stayed silent, for now. There was still a very good chance he would gank Coyote, but at least they didn't have a pissed of religious studies professor on their hands anymore.

But they really shouldn't hurry. They didn't even know from experience how powerful Trickster truly were – Gabriel's powers had come from him being an arch angel. Most Gods had lost some of their power over the years.

Plus, they had no idea how to deal with him.

Maybe, he reflected, they shouldn't keep working the case as if nothing was going on at all.

Since there were two very good reasons to instead deal with what was right in front of them sitting on the bed farther away from the door.

At the very least they had to get him alive to send them back. They had no guarantee that they would automatically return to their universe; they might as well be stuck here, and that was neither something Dean wanted nor something he would force them to do. They had their own lives; their Sam must be throwing a fit by now.

"First of all we gotta ask him how to send you back anyway" he announced. "Is there anything in the lore as to how to find him, or where he likes to park?"

Other Cas shook his head.

"I'm afraid the tales usually depict him stumbling unto others, not the opposite."

"Great. So it's basically wait until he does something else?"

"Maybe – but we might have his next targets in reach".

"You mean the wonder twins?"

His brother gave him a bitchface of epic proportions and pointed at him and Cas.

"No, you two! He's already started playing around with you, so – "

"Okay, can you please phrase that differently?"

Sam sighed. "Alright, so he has targeted you. For now, he has done no damage..." he paused, studying the distance between his brother and Cas once more and not liking it one bit.

"But he might come back to do just that – "

"Or to have more fun" other Cas insisted.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's lot of fun playing with people's free will" Dean replied hotly, and it seemed that once again he and their friend's doppelganger would clash, but then Cas put a hand on his arm.

And just like that, they looked exactly like the couple.

Sam wondered why Dean couldn't see it.

Apparently the two agreed with him.

He should have known Cas would be sneaky in whatever version – he had been leader of his garrison, after all.

"That reminds me of us" he commented wistfully, putting an arm around his husband who shot him an exasperated look that showed Cas had obviously decided on his own to throw a bit of fuel in the fire.

"You remember when you wouldn't admit you had the biggest crush on me?"

Cas and Dean stood, mesmerized, the former angel's hand still on his brother's shoulder, and Sam would have thought it funny if he hadn't feared Dean's reaction.

But instead, he handled the situation in a surprisingly... adult way.

"I firmly believe that I have never harboured such feelings towards Cas as you surmise" he explained, swiping Cas' hand off his shoulder gently but holding unto it for a second longer than necessary.

"Dean?" he asked, bewildered, slowly standing up.

"He's affected again" Cas explained, still hovering near him.

"I do think that I am indeed once more the victim of nefarious magical tricks, however I am experiencing no physical or emotional distress" his brother explained, looking confused.

Other Cas laughed.

"He sounds like my husband after a lecture when he hasn't relaxed yet".

"That's not true".

"Is too".

"Please cease this banter, it will not help us at all" Dean stated and now Sam had to laugh because his brother looked positively pissed. He was also leaning closer to Cas.

Fine by him.

"You stay with him" he told the others. Other Cas looked like he might have had some objections, but Sam rushed out before he could voice them. His brother was still protesting that "to the best of his knowledge he had never harboured in any way more than platonic feelings" for his best friend while practically cuddling up to him.

Sam's gate swept over the parking lot; out of the corner of his eyes, he saw a dark mass and quickly moved towards it, but it was gone by the time he arrived at the corner.

He looked around, but saw nothing and returned to the motel room where Dean was now sitting in a corner, pointedly looking at the wall.

"I take it wore off?" Sam inquired, Dean shooting him a dirty look.

"A moment ago" Cas said quietly and from his demeanour it was easy to guess that Dean had jumped away from him the second he'd been able to.

Maybe it was what his brother had said, although Sam hadn't heard anything that suggested Dean didn't love Cas. On the contrary, he had been very vocal about his "belief" that he wasn't in love with him.

And did Sam know that to be true.

"I am sick of this shit" his brother suddenly announced and jumped up. "You" he pointed at the husbands, "better find me a way to summon the damn thing".

With a few steps, he was at the door. Not looking at anyone, he stormed out and slammed it behind him.

Surprisingly, other Cas jumped up immediately.

"Where are you – " his husband began but he cut him off with a quick kiss.

Sam winced when he saw Cas' face.

"I know how to deal with you when you're upset" he said softly. "And I don't want him to get drunk".

"But you can't – " Sam began.

"I can if he stays here" other Cas said, pointing at their friend. "I'll look after him, I promise" he told the former angel, and he nodded, sitting down.

Which was how Sam ended up doing research with a look-alike of his brother and a depressed ex-angel, wondering why he had ever let the professor storm out.

Sadly, Cas knew exactly where Dean Winchester had gone. In the beginning, when they had just met and been living together as roommates, when he hadn't known him well enough to love him yet, he had learned all about his new friend's favourite coping mechanism – getting drunk in the dirtiest bar he could find.

It had been a long time since Cas had had to look for him, but he managed to find him quickly regardless.

It helped that there was a bar on the second street from the motel.

Dean was sitting at the bar – of course, convenient for refills – and staring into his whiskey.

He sat down next to him and waved to the bartender for a beer.

"You here to read me the riot act too?" Dean asked tiredly. He had seen at a glance that he wasn't his Cas.

"No. I just thought you might want some company."

"So you're not upset?"

"In a way, I am" he admitted. "But more because I remember how it feels".

"How what feels?"

"Being treated like you don't care for me at all".

"I don't treat him like that. If anything, I'm doing him a favour. Trust me, no one I love should be around me – "

"If they don't want to get hurt" Cas interrupted him. Dean stared.

He looked down at the bottle in his hands and felt wariness sweep over him. How often had he had the same conversation with Dean until, as Sam had put it, they had "got their shit together?"

"Do you really think Dean didn't tell me the same when we grew close?"

"Trust me, whatever crap he pulled – "

"I don't care".

He said it so firmly that Dean stopped talking.

"And you know what? He – your Cas – he doesn't either". He took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell you something I only ever told my husband."

He was staring at Dean like Cas had used to once upon a time, when they had just met and he had had to make sense of the Righteous Man he had pulled out of Hell, and Dean swallowed. He could have made a joke about how he wasn't into threesomes or something like that, but the expression on the other man's face held him back.

"Please don't beat yourself up over this. I'm not trying to make you feel even guiltier. But... it's killing him".

Dean blinked.

"What do you mean?"

Cas sighed. "When you push him away. When you act like you don't care for him, when you don't even look at him when you're in the same room. When you refuse to talk to him."

Dean could only listen, completely aghast. He couldn't mean that much to Cas. This version was talking about his _husband_ , the man he _loved_. Not about someone who should have been his friend and had allowed him to stumble out of the bunker, scared and helpless.

"And especially when you do _that_ " Cas continued. Dean unconsciously shrunk back on himself.

"You don't take care of yourself, and you beat yourself up constantly, and all he wants to offer you is love and comfort, and you won't allow it. You don't let him hold you and make everything better; you continue on your trail, eager to leave everyone behind because you believe it's best for them. It's not".

"I – you don't" Dean stuttered. "Cas is my best friend, you're – Dean's husband, it's not the same thing?"

"You think he doesn't love you the way I love my husband?" Cas gave him a sad smile.

"I, of all people, should be able to recognize the longing glances, don't you think?"

With these words he downed his beer and left.

Dean's mind was reeling. He had easily – alright, not easily, but he had – shaken off his counterpart's words; after all there was no man he had less confidence in then himself.

But what Cas' doppelganger had said was true: He should be able to read Cas. He knew his expressions. He saw them in the mirror every day.

But if he was right...

Then Cas was in love with him.

Apart from the fact that this was the biggest error of judgement on Cas' part yet, it would only cause him pain because Dean could never reciprocate. He was straight. He loved Cas, sure, as a brother, but he could never give him what he wanted.

He could never tell him he loved him like that, or take him in his arms, or kiss him, or make love to him, or wake up in the morning and look at him, peacefully asleep on the pillow next to his, waiting for his beautiful eyes to open –

_Hold it right there._

Where had that come from? Maybe it was the after effect of whatever had targeted him today.

But if what other Cas was saying was right, and he didn't say it was, but it was possible, and why should he tell him if it wasn't true –

He swallowed his whiskey with one gulp. He would have to talk to Cas. After they ganked Coyote, or whatever was out there, of course.

Man, he was much more looking forward to killing the monster.

Sam had left them alone a few minutes ago to fetch a manuscript from his room. Cas was trying to read, but he could feel the worried looks of a Dean that wasn't his, but loved someone like him nonetheless; who gave his Cas everything he would never have.

"He doesn't know it yet" other Dean suddenly said and he looked up.

"What?" he asked.

"That he loves you. He still thinks he's straight and not bi".

"Because he isn't".

"I think I should – "

"Please" Cas interrupted him shakily, "please stop".

They didn't say anything after that.

Sometime later, Sam returned; soon after, his own counterpart walked through the door.

Cas had expected Dean to stay away, but an hour later, he returned, carrying enough Thai take out for them all.

He had got Cas' favourite and handed it to him with a smile. He even sat down next to him, like he used to do before he started to keep his distance.

Cas smiled at him shyly and was surprised to get a soft smile in return.

He didn't know what his doppelganger had said to Dean, but if it gave him this, gave him everything he could ever expect, Dean's friendship, he would be happy enough.

It had taken Dean exactly five seconds to decide that, if Cas had indeed fallen in love with him against all odds (and every reason on the goddamn planet not to) he would have to treat him better. Or at least not ignore him for a while. Pining wouldn't help in this situation at all; best he got used to seeing Dean how he truly was. Then he'd surely fall out of love with him quickly enough.

Sam had no idea what professor-Cas had told his brother, but for now he was happy enough to see him where he belonged again – at Cas' side.

He looked at the husbands and could have sworn Cas actually winked at him.

The sneaky bastard.

They should have been prepared, should have expected an attack that evening. But somehow they didn't. Later, Sam would wonder if Coyote had played around with their minds, but in the end, it didn't matter.

Cas had had his way and was sleeping in the Impala – Dean had given him an extra blanket and he'd clutched it in his hands like the Holy Grail – and they had retired to their bed.

Predictably, Dean was the first out of bed when Cas started to scream.

Cas found that the Impala's backseat was comfortable enough even if he had to curl up a little bit.

It had been a good evening. He could live like this. He would never be more than Dean's friend; but if he could be that, if he could be only that, it would be enough.

At first, he couldn't pinpoint what had woken him up; then he realized that the whole car was encased in fog. Dense, dark fog. He couldn't see anything.

He reached for the silver knife Dean insisted he always kept close and slowly opened the door.

The fog didn't smell or seem solid; perhaps it was only fog after all, but after the strange happenings in the town, it was unlikely.

He stepped out of the car and immediately forgot where he was standing in relation to the motel. The fog must be confusing him; it was the only explanation. Feeling dizzy, he leaned against the car and took a few deep breaths. He closed his eyes and concentrated on what he had learned over the last few months.

He was human, but he was still a hunter; and after he had forced himself to remember the layout of the parking lot he started to move toward the motel.

Immediately he felt dizzy against and when he tried to take a step back and find the car, he couldn't.

Then he heard the scream.

Dean.

He charged blindly into the direction the noise was coming from, calling his name.

"Dean! DEAN!"

Dean sat up in bed, alert, his gun in his hand in a second.

"What?" his doppelganger mumbled, sitting up, his husband groaning next to him.

"Stay here" he commanded, not even bothering to look at them as he threw the door open and stumbled into the fog.

Good God, it was everywhere. He couldn't see a damn thing; how was he supposed to find Cas?

"DEAN!"

"CAS!" he screamed as he ran forward, uncaring that he was practically blind. Cas sounded panicked.

He followed the calls, but it soon became clear that Cas couldn't hear him; and just when he thought he'd come close – how he hadn't yet traversed the parking lot yet, nor bumped into a single car, he couldn't say – the screams stopped.

Or rather, they were cut off.

He continued to run in their general direction, at least he hoped so, when he stumbled and landed on the asphalt. He groaned and grabbed his gun that had thankfully not slid far away from him; but all thoughts of fighting left his mind when he turned around to see what he had stumbled over.

He was looking at Cas' corpse.

"I'm getting Sam" Dean announced after a few minutes had passed and nothing had happened.

"No, you're not. Not alone" Cas said immediately and, as he had expected, he and his husband both went to the younger Winchester's room.

They tried to find a sign of either Dean or Cas, but no one was in the Impala, and despite the night being calm and clear, they could hear or see no one.

"Cas... No... Please..."

Dean was kneeling next to his best friend. He didn't remember dropping to his knees, or letting go of his gun. It didn't matter.

Cas was dead.

No demon would deal with him. Crowley might have developed a soft spot for him, but he wasn't stupid.

Cas was no longer welcome in Heaven. He couldn't hope for help from there.

Cas was gone. Dead. Never coming back.

There was so much blood – whatever had come for him, Coyote or not, had ripped open his throat –

And Dean hadn't been there.

Why had he allowed him to sleep in the Impala unprotected? It should have been him. It should have been him, not Cas, not his –

His –

_No._

That couldn't be true, he refused, no, he couldn't come to his senses and realize he had been in love with Cas for years now, cradling his body. No. Just no.

But it was true nonetheless.

Sam opened the door, looking sleepy; He was awake in an instant when he saw their worried expressions.

After he had quickly dressed they searched the area, but as before they could only come to one conclusion:

Cas and Dean had disappeared without a trace.

"Cas – Cas –" He repeated the name dumbly, as if it would return his best friend, his – his love to him although he knew it was useless.

He was holding unto him, unable let go.

Then, suddenly, he heard his voice.

Cas was still calling for him.

He stumbled away from the body – _fake_ body, fake body – and noticed the fog had cleared since he'd fallen down. He hadn't paid attention.

But he could see Cas in front of him, wrestling something that looked like a big wolf –

No.

A big _Coyote_.

"Cas!" he called out as his friend plunged his Blade in the beast's neck with no results. "Get away!"

Cas was carrying an ordinary blade, not a silver one – he'd lost his on a hunt a few weeks ago and they hadn't yet replaced it – and Dean thanked his lucky stars that he'd filled his guns with silver bullets this morning. He had no idea if it would work – perhaps he should have gone for the wooden stakes – but if it got this beast to back off, he wasn't gonna complain.

Once Cas was out of the way, he took several shots, all hitting the target.

Coyote dropped back a few feet, shaking itself; at least it gave Cas time to scramble away and Dean, when he looked at him, couldn't see any visible injury.

Kind of weird.

Great, but weird.

But Cas was _alive_.

Cas was alive and for some reason had a thing for him and Dean had a thing for him in return, so maybe they could –

A growl brought him out of his reverie. Right, monster to fight.

"Dean" Cas gasped, coming to stand beside him, "Sam".

And he pointed behind them.

The fog had cleared up completely.

He could see that they were not standing at all far away from Baby, and that Sam and their counterparts were just a little distance away.

Pure relief swept over Sam when suddenly his brother and Cas appeared fighting something that could only be Coyote, even if he had no idea where they came from.

"Sam! Get the stakes!" he shouted, his little brother springing into action at once; he was a little surprised when he heard calls and realized the clean-cut versions of Cas and himself were doing their best to distract Coyote, who seemed to be confused when he saw their twins running in his direction.

 _So you're as stupid as in the tales after all_ , Dean thought as Sam opened the Impala's trunk and pulled out the stakes they always kept there.

He threw one in Dean's direction, missed, but thankfully Cas caught it and went straight at the beast before Dean could push him out of harm's way.

He should have known better. His angel had been a great soldier, and with one swift move, he dodged the creature and stabbed him in the neck.

Coyote writhed and screamed, inhuman screeching sounds, before disintegrating into a fog that wasn't very unlike from the one they'd stumbled around in just a few minutes ago.

And then the thing was dead, and Cas was _there_ , and Dean pulled him into his arms, shaking.

"Cas..." he mumbled into his hair.

"Dean?"

He sounded unsure, confused.

No wonder after what he'd put him through in the last few months.

But hey, if Cas still wanted him after all of this, Dean sure wasn't going to complain.

"He made me think you were dead" he whispered and Cas squeezed him. Dean took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes, stepping back but keeping his hands on Cas' hips.

He wasn't used to doing that, but he decided then and there that he very easily could.

"Dean?" Cas asked again, mustering him with a mix of hope and wariness. Maybe he thought Coyote had thrown some spell on him before vanishing.

Someone pointedly cleared their throat behind him and he turned his head to see himself and Cas watching them with smug expressions, while Sammy next to them could barely hide his excitement.

Dean tried to speak, failed, tried again.

"So..." he let temporarily go of his right hand's vice grip of Cas and stabbed a finger over his shoulder, indicating the husbands.

"So... your twin over there told me you were in love with me. Is it true?"

Cas looked anywhere but at him, but gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.

Dean wondered what to say, then decided to just go for it so simply stated "Good" as he drew Cas into a kiss.

He was surprised at how good it felt.

At how _right_ it felt.

He felt Cas stiffen and realized he hadn't done a very good job of explaining what was going on.

He pulled back.

"I mean... I love you too, I guess".

He heard himself snort and sighed.

"I – man, that's difficult – I love you, Cas. Alright? The whole earth-shattering, rainbow-spewing, forever-kind of love".

That was somewhat eloquent, at least.

"But you..." Cas began and looked at the spot where Coyote had vanished.

Dean guessed what he was thinking.

"This is not a new thing. Remember me freaking out when you didn't drink enough and felt dizzy a few weeks back?"

They both smiled at that. True, Dean had forgotten to take care of himself often enough, but that didn't mean he didn't shout when he saw Cas stumble slightly and looking around confused.

This time it was Cas who kissed him, and they only resurfaced when the couple began to applaud them.

"Seriously?" he asked, and other him shrugged his shoulder.

"You of all people should know we can be a bastard when we want to be".

Dean had to agree there.

Cas was still holding on to him, and Dean knew he would never forget the expression on his face.

He just had to kiss him again.

This time it was Sam who made them resurface.

"Sorry to interrupt, but... there are two people we still have to get home".

Dean refused to let go of Cas' hand.

Cas didn't seem to mind.

Two fruitless hours of research later they were no closer to finding a way to send them back.

Dean was too happy to care, which was probably douchy, but Cas was still holding his hand, so he didn't mind.

Their doppelgangers seemed satisfied enough with what they had accomplished.

Or maybe, he would later think, they had known, deep down, what was to come; maybe Coyote had decided to do the right thing in the end.

Whatever the reason, suddenly a light shone from the closet.

They all jumped up – Sam noticing with satisfaction that Cas wouldn't allow Dean's attempts to shield him.

"Wait..." other Dean began. "Cas?"

"You're right; we saw that light before" his husband said. "Right before we showed up here."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Always" he stated calmly. They took each other's hand.

"Are you sure – " Sam began.

"No" his brother's twin said matter-of-factly. "But we're together. And we've never needed more".

"He's right" Cas confirmed. He turned to the new couple.

"You take care of him, alright? God knows they need us".

"I promise" Cas said.

"And you" Dean added, pointing at Sam's brother. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Cas needs some looking after too, and you can't do that wallowing in self-pity".

Dean swallowed and nodded.

Then, without further ado aside from bestowing a grin on Sam, they plunged into the closet and were gone.

"Do you think they'll get home?" Sam asked.

"I sure hope so" Cas answered.

"They'll be alright no matter what" Dean said and Sam believed him. As long as these two were together, they were going to somehow muddle through.

Sam smiled at the thought and turned to his brother and friend, who clearly looked like they would soon resume their activities from earlier in the parking lot – in a decidedly less kid-friendlier fashion.

"I'm going to leave you two alone. Behave, jerk" he called out and left.

There were some things he didn't need to see.

Later, Sam wouldn't be able to say what woke him up; all he knew was that he was suddenly awake and unable to sleep, and decided to get some air.

It was a pleasant night. Stars glittered above him.

And there, in the middle of the parking lot, as if it had been waiting for him, was a dark mass, made of the fog he had seen Coyote collapse into; it took on various shapes and forms as he watched, and once, he could have sworn that it was the one of the dead Trickster.

He was strangely calm.

 _Sam Winchester_ the form said, although Sam couldn't even discern its face.

"Coyote" he stated, absolutely sure.

_I wanted to tell you that your visitors returned home. No one knows they were gone. You can choose the right time to tell your brother and your friend._

"Thank you" he said.

_There is no use in chasing me. I am old and powerful. And I do no harm._

"You changed someone's personality, and you kidnapped someone –"

_I didn't change him. I made him remember who he used to be. The decision to return to his old self was his own. And as to the man I rescued – he's in Miami with all the money he needs for a fresh start. I am not cruel. I am not a monster. I visit souls in agony. And no soul was calling out louder for help than your brother's and his angel._

"So you brought their copies from another universe here?"

_I had to make Dean see sense. He is a stubborn man._

Sam chuckled. It was true.

"I just don't think – "

 _Like I said, you can tell them when you see fit._ _It is time for me to go, Sam Winchester. Yá'át'ééh._

A moment later, the shape was gone.

Sam was left alone in the parking lot. He could have pounded on Dean's and Cas' door, telling them that the creature they'd hunted was still alive; but Coyote was right; he wasn't doing any harm.

Quite the opposite, he decided, remembering Cas' face when Dean had told him he loved him.

He smiled. The old Trickster should continue on his path; God knew he had given Dean and Cas the happiness they deserved.

He looked up at the beautiful night sky and remembering what other Dean had told him about the Navajo language, breathed a word.

_Ahéhee'._


End file.
